Hilarious Jokes

‪The Fourth of July was an annual reminder of how useless my dog would be in a war.‬

Zoning out is your brain’s way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”

I was bitten by a mosquito last night. Bet that little bastard is pretty hungover today

I just decorated my bedroom to look like my desk at work so I can fall asleep faster.

If at any point in your life you feel useless, just remember there are people on the BMW assembly lines that install turn signals.