Jokes

You call it "Blacking Out" I call it a "Surprise Nap"

This year for Mother's Day, I'm going to make Mom feel 20 years younger by bringing her my laundry.

Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said thanks how do you know I’m not a serial killer? I replied the chances of two serial killer’s being in the same car are astronomical.

I bet they don’t play ‘the floor is lava’ in Hawaii.

Futons are the most disappointing Transformers ever.

I don't know who I feel more sorry for.. myself for never being able to find where I parked my car?.. or the poor bastards following me through the parking lot hoping to take my parking space...