Community post
Hasty Words
Benji lay in a bloodied heap, one ear twitching.
Mara looked up into Braal’s glowing red eyes. “Please. Spare his soul.”
Braal raised an eyebrow.
“Asshole.” Rob kicked a rock across the floor.
“Insolent fool!” Braal’s nostrils flared.
He cast a flash of light. Benji’s ear stopped twitching.
This is my entry to the 50 Word Challenge, hosted by @jayna. The prompt this week was Soul.
Replies (13)
We love this story so much, we nominated you in this contest: https://steemit.com/contest/@steemcreative/steemcreative-super-happy-fun-contest-of-joy-and-mayhem-week-3-25-steem-prize
Wow. So much tension accumulated in so few words. Powerful.
This is really intense — and terribly sad as well. It sounds like a snippet in a much longer story. If so, maybe there’s time travel, and Mara and Rob can prevent the mauling and death of poor Benji.
I just wanted to add an additional note, @alheath. I should have been more effusive about the quality of the writing. It is very good, as always. I think you are a gifted writer, and I love your work in general. Unfortunately, I am very challenged by stories that involve harm to animals, and as Benji seems to have been brutally hurt prior to the story, and killed by Braal within the story, I do not have objectivity. Very sorry about that.
Thank you!
Thank you!
Thank you! However, I should make it very clear that I in no way condone violence to an animal in the real world. This is a fictional story, which tells of Benji’s incredible bravery and the sacrifice he is prepared to make for Mara. Unfortunately, a ‘happy ending’ is not always possible. To deny that evil exists in the world doesn’t make it go away.
I apologise for your feelings on the subject, but I cannot accept any personal responsibility for them. If you have any objections to the content of my stories in the future, I can easily be found on Discord. Feel free to discuss them with me there.
I respect you profoundly as a writer and a person, and I hope to look forward to submitting to more of your contests in the future.
Thank you for that thoughtful comment, @alheath. Yes, I will connect with you on Discord. Just back from 10 days of travel with limited time and internet access.
Just to clarify, I was merely meaning to say that I had no ability to be objective on the content and comment effectively on it. It would never cross my mind that you condone violence to animals. It’s ckear in those 50 words that evil is at work, and that is an essential aspect of your story. You did that very well, and perhaps the fact that it was a gut punch for me, as a reader, and I ended up in tears and kind of a wreck for a bit is testimonial to the quality of your writing.
Much love.
Congratulations @alheath! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click here to view your Board of Honor
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPDo not miss the last post from @steemitboard:
Congratulations @alheath! You have completed the following achievement on the Steem blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :
Click here to view your Board of Honor
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCongratulations @alheath! You received a personal award!
Click here to view your Board
Congratulations @alheath! You received a personal award!
You can view your badges on your Steem Board and compare to others on the Steem Ranking
Do not miss the last post from @steemitboard:
Vote for @Steemitboard as a witness to get one more award and increased upvotes!
Congratulations @alheath! You have completed the following achievement on the Hive blockchain and have been rewarded with new badge(s):
Your next target is to reach 600 upvotes.
You can view your badges on your board and compare yourself to others in the Ranking
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word
STOPCheck out the last post from @hivebuzz:
Support the HiveBuzz project. Vote for our proposal!