Screaming in desperation

Good day once again my dear Hive dwellers.

Today I bring to you a photo that differs a bit from what I usually draw. It’s a woman clutching a glass ball and reaching out in desperation for something. When I think of it, this is what I feel when I lose control of my emotions in a BPD episode. I become desperate for security whilst pushing the people I care about away or pull them so close that I suffocate them. I have been working hard on my emotional control reacently and have been able to be more in tune with myself and managed to catch my thoughts before they develop into a full blown episode. BPD or Borderline personality disorder affects about 1.6% of the general population but further studies have shown that it could be as high as 5.9%. This disorder ís pretty stigmatised and living with it can prove challenging. I hope you like the drawing and let me take you through how it was made.
Step one, the rough sketch.

I sketch in vibrant colours because that way I don’t interfere with the lineart, I used to sketch in black but found that it was harder to see where the lineart should go.
Laying down the lines
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I try to be mindful where I put the lines and how the whole image looks before I move on to colours.

I add the skin color first and shading. I have to try more variation in my skin tones. I draw what I am familiar with on myself and have a hard time pushing myself out of that bubble.

Hair, I still have some issues with hair, it has always eluded me a bit. But I have seen it evolve a bit over the years and I’m happy with that progress.

The little things. Adding details and tidying up a bit, on this stage I add little deatails and if there is anything that needs fixing this is when I do that.
Then I add the background and this time it’s pretty simple so I won’t waste to many words on that,
Overall I am happy with how it turned out and I am thankful for being able to share this with you all.

I decided to let a screeenshot of my working area in procreate. I do recommend procreate, in conjunction with the Apple Pencil it makes for a really fun experience

I hope you are having a great day and if not I hope you remember that feeling bad and being in a bad state of mind passes, it will get better ❤️

Thank you for reading

Amanda Yrr