OK Splinterlands I got a bone to pick with you.

What the hell, this is a dwarf

Bro this is a picture of a dwarf. Unless Tusk's mamma is the great bearded lady, bro this is a dwarf. @Splinterlands has it listed as human and thats cap. Like bro LMAO that's a dwarf. And his name is Tusk the Wide, like BRO thats a friggin DWARF. And as someone who is personally a dwarf appreciator, I am official offended by the misrepresentation. Dwarven lives matter.


My beef isnt even with battling

I was browsing my land collection trying to find card synergies with the new Visions of Verico set. There is a dwarf named Fithe Bladestone which has Dwarf synergies in battles, and Tusk would be great there too, but who even cares. I want dwarf synergies for lands. There's like dozens of human cards out there, and not as many dwarfs. I fuggin LOVE dwarfs, HIVEBros, so the misrepresentation BOTHERS THE ISH OUTTA ME.

 ##### *bruh*

I hope the mystery dwarf is a little less hairy than Daggerdale over there. Holy crap. Bro I know some girl dwarves rock the beard, but that only has to be SOMETIMES. And if Daggerdale wants to rock a beard that I personally could never achieve, more power to her. Most dwarven chicks could probably beat me in arm wrestling, they don't need my support, but I give it willingly. But if I had a Splinterlands Dwarven Waifu it would 1000% be Bera Dallin, like holy shit bros she's so hot.

 ###### *My queen*  

Dwarves are people too

Comparing the amount of Dwarves to say, the pretty boy Elves (ew) there is clearly a vast proportional difference. But Elves are super well known, so it does make sense that there would be a lot of them... even if they somehow control way too much magical influence for such a small portion of the minority, some even talk about the Elven Question (EQ) but that's off topic... I think the bigger, more pressing issue I uncovered with my research is...

**fuggin RODENTIANS? THEY BEAT THEM IN NUMBERS?!

Really? Rodentians? There are more rodent cards than dwarf cards? They didnt even exist in Middle Earth dawg what the fuck?! I guess there are 5 dwarven legendaries and only 2 rodentian, but if that doesn't just burn my ass as a dwarf appreciator. And there are 221 Humans at this time, so wow yea we need way more of those, yea for sure. More dwarves would be great, please, oh and gimme a Dwarf Legendary Archon, maybe like an ascended Bera Dallin (she's so hot)

Claude betrayed me & I thought we were friends

*Shove off Claude no one asked you.*

OK my dwarf rant is done I guess.

But

If my satirical post about dwarves offends you, IDC.

PS the dwarf admirer part and part about Bera being my waifu is not satire tho