The College Lament || Original Song

If you can get past the quality, I hope you all enjoy this song I recorded about a year ago.

Music and Lyrics by Ann Gustafson.

Lyrics:
The next 3 months of my life cost me 3,000 dollars
(That’s like a thousand per month)
I'm all signed up; I'm not excited but these classes are required
(I'm going to learn what a fucking simile is again.)

I have no sense of direction, where the fuck is my classroom?
And I call the information desk. (This is the male’s locker room)
I show up 10 minutes late, sitting next to a kid who didn’t think to even bring a pen
Professor looks like he’s 18—he’s in a towel—it’s the fucking locker room again!

Every day I copy down a PowerPoint I say,
"Is college life for me?" It’s everything
From the horribly, fluorescently lighted classrooms making my eyes bleed
To the obvious brown-nosing kid who thinks he’s the shit
Cause he knows what a "soliloquy" is
Well guess what, motherfucker?
I learned that in 5th grade, too.
And while you’re at it, why don’t you tell the class where you got your Master’s degree in English?
Oh, you don’t have one? Then why don’t you shut the fuck up and let the teacher say something today
Okay, sweetie?

I’m two months in, I’ve made no friends, and I’m addicted to coffee
(Coffee is like a friend; Except you don’t have to fucking listen to coffee’s problems all the time.)
My whole family thinks I’m dead cause I haven’t texted any of them in a month
My funeral’s tomorrow; they even took my bedroom and converted it into a gym (whoo!)
My house looks like it’s on “Hoarders”
Haven’t gotten around to chores
Feels like I’m being buried alive
There is dirt everywhere--
Why is the funeral still on??

Another day, another midterm-- and I still say,
"Is college life for me?" I can’t help feel
That I am way too smart and bad at waiting tables
To keep this up for 4 years straight
Just to find a career that I don’t fucking hate
But the passion isn’t there
But I don’t want to die on the cold, unforgiving streets
On a pile of bodies with the same damn dream

Well, I won’t drop college cause success is still my mission
But also ‘cause, holy shit, have you seen my tuition?
(Seriously, Donald Trump pays less in taxes)
No shame in having fun on the side
But I refuse to risk it all because of arrogance and too much pride
So, children, stay in school, unless you think that knowing what an "allegory" is makes you fucking Shakespeare
Otherwise, stay and work hard and all of you majors in Psychology and Art
Experiment, but don’t do meth
And then enjoy your office job 'till your inevitable death.