My Experience with a bad habit

Hello my friends and fellow bloggers on hive and the #weekendExperience community. @galenp, gave some interesting topics to choose from, so here’s my entry.

I have this habit of going silent when I'm angry at someone; it's like my flight response to any situation. I find it very hard to communicate how I feel, and at that moment, I go completely silent; I won’t answer you even if you call out my name.

Has this habit of mine made me lose someone?Yes, it has.And I almost lost my 4-year relationship recently because of it.

A few days ago, I and my partner lodged at a hotel (we do this once a month, just to escape our reality and find a moment when it was just us and no one else). The next morning we were about to leave when he had an argument with one of the staff members at the hotel over poor customer service and how they rudely responded to customers. He threatened to report them to their supervisor, and I pleaded with him not to. Since we were already leaving that morning, he was so angry at them that he didn't listen and went ahead to file the complaint.

I got so furious in my head that I was like,(So even I can’t talk to him when he’s angry). Immediately, he got back and saw my facial expression. He pleaded and explained why he needed to make the complaint, so the management knows how rude their staff are. But I just didn’t say a word. I continued with what I was doing and paid him no attention. He called out my name, and I didn't respond. I was mute. Even when we got home, I didn’t say a word.

He got angry and left the apartment, then sent me a text telling me how much he doesn't like my attitude when I'm angry and has pleaded with me several times to communicate whenever something hurts me, so he knows what he’s doing wrong and he won’t be coming back that day because he can’t be in the same house and not talk to me.

We spent the entire 24 hours not talking to each other; even when I had calmed down, I didn't reply to any of his messages, not because I couldn't; I just didn’t know what to say.

He came back the next morning, and we made up, but I know he’s fed up with this particular attitude.

In my own defense, whenever I try to say how I feel, I end up crying, so I stay silent.I have lost friends in the past because I don't communicate when I'm angry, so we go weeks or months without talking.

This is one habit I want to get rid of so it doesn't cost me an arm or leg in the future.

Thanks for reading
P.s: All image belongs to me.