Community post
As if. My Actifit Diary: August 28 2026
When you dislike something, you can approach it from many directions. Each has a different difficulty. "Screw it's I don't like it" is the easiest. "How can I spin this to my benefit" is a medium. "What did I do wrong to get here, and how can I avoid it in the future" is what I try to apply. Advanced, maybe. Depending on your own stage. I sometimes hope that many are way further than that.

I would enjoy being mediocre. Having a vast selection of mindsets, examples, coherent humans to look up to. Not having to go nostalgic, examine those of the past, not to spend hours on finding a human that might be considered a role model.

Were they always that scarce? Or has the overload of superficial flash bang celebrities eroded the capacity of discerning those who are worth the thought from those who aren't?
Who thinks for themselves, anyway?

Everyone. No one. Flashy YouTube titles are thinking for myself. Questioning the exterior is thinking for myself. It has become rare that a person questions their self as reaction to that exterior event.

What could I do better next time? The question that is the reason for my happiness and misery. And unfortunately, I believe that exactly that question separates me from mediocrity. And worse. I fear that it will be gold levek one day. Then diamond.
A bad sign for humanity.
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Replies (4)
Sounds like you are trying to figure something out my friend. I hope that whatever is troubling you is short lived. Try to be joyful as it helps, even when times are bad.
Super excellent job with your 15655
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Ah! This seems to be the crux of many of my excursions into the past. Rehashing old snafus and dissecting them. Multiple times over. Replaying what I did wrong. PLaying out all the different things I could have done differently. Thinking about the different outcomes. Need to stop doing it and stay in the present I know. Working on it. Kills my forward mojo. Hope you find your balance soon my friend.
Can't be too much more too little. Balance, as you write. Crazy times here still, wishing you well!