Releasing Him to Keep Him

Now, this interesting timing. The revelation that I need to release the Man of My Dreams is coinciding with a free (donation-based) Buddhist retreat here in Chiang Mai. The retreat is scheduled on the heels of the Yee Peng Lantern Festival. You've seen the videos on YouTube. It's a gorgeous tribute to letting go of our attachments.

You see, in order to keep him, I must set him free.

Who is this Man of My Dreams?

His name is Michael.
He's not on Steemit, and neither are his friends.

We cannot be together, not in a relationship with a capital R, but that's okay.

He digs poly; I dig monogamy.

He wants kids; I don't want them.

But we still love each other.

We're okay that our Relationship with a capital R was temporary.

We are embracing impermanence.

And yet.

I cling.

I cannot seem to want to allow him the room to see other people.

And yet I allow myself to see other people.

How silly!

I will go out into the village of Pa Pae, I will succumb to the mosquitoes and their bites, I will risk Dengue Fever and whatever else is likely not festering among the greenery, though the Westerners claim these are festering among the greenery, to find some kind of peace from him. Then, I will light the lantern and set him free, releasing him up into the thick and humid night sky so he can float back down to a more enlightened being.

One who can love all of him without expectation.