Why quitting is actually a good thing

Image credit: Daniel Von Appel for UnSplash

Things I’ve quit:
What do I mean “quit”? I mean I deliberately stopped using it abruptly. Plenty of things have just faded out through non-use and that’s totally normal.

• My Master’s Degree (1/3 of the way through my final thesis!)

• The city of Buffalo

• Girlfriends’ Circle online meeting place membership

• Toastmasters Group

• Novels I was writing: The Darlings, Falling, Venom, Through Smoke, and many more

• Denver Urbanities Group

• Online dating (not because I found someone either)

• My blogs: SuperHumanNature, Last Train Home, and LiveJournal after 10 years

• Twitter (my industry related handle)

• Countless books about ¼ of the way in

• Personalized diet and exercise coaching

• Hulu

• Network After Work group

• [name redacted] closed private FB group for feminists

• My engagement

• Learning Spanish through DuoLingo despite their guilt-trippy messages to come back

What is all this quitting about? Why did I quit so many seemingly good ventures and ideas?

Partly, I quit because it just wasn't working for me. I know when to fold 'em. I also see, looking at this list, that I'm willing to try a lot of things to find the one thing that does work for me. So instead of thinking of it as "quitting", I think of it as "honing in on the best option".

And why is quitting a good thing…for you?

Quitting tells you what’s not working…so you can start on the path to what is working. Quitting is often a sign that you started something for the wrong reasons, or unclear reasons.

Having an extremely clear, unshakeable reason for doing something is the best way to complete it. Not a good idea. Not good intentions. Not even willpower or good working habits. A real reason for doing it that weathers the storm of time, changing circumstances, and the “don’t wanna’s.”

A couple months into my (expensive!) private diet and workout coaching, through using their self-discovery tools, I determined that my reasons for changing my body were…super shallow. I wanted a “revenge body”. I wanted to look younger. I wanted to wear certain brands. I didn’t suffer from health issues or eating disorders. I ate and worked out enough to be comfortable; but not enviable. I wanted others’ envy and admiration. Terrible reason to keep pushing through very hard work. I may go back to that program, but only when I have a really solid reason grounded in my values.

Things I haven’t quit:

• My business

• My two NaNo books

• Writing a story for my mom as a gift twice a year

• My once-stormy relationship with my sister and her spouse

• My once-stormy relationship with my dad

• Therapy when I really needed it

• Eating greens at one or more meals a day

• Taking my prescription medicine that helps me feel confident in my appearance and fixes a minor, but to me very serious, cosmetic issue, every day

• Writing for steemit

Why? Because all of those things, even though they can be challenging, have a really good reason behind them. One that makes sense to me every day.

So what will YOU quit today? And what will you find a very good reason to start?