Text to Maria Rose Calhoun: 12 Step Program

God did not put me here to tell young women that they are out of control or to help them get into a 12 step program. But I did text this to Maria Rose Calhoun today:

This is what you do Maria Rose Calhoun. Get a note pad and write it down so you will know what you will do next.

1. Stop drinking
2. Get drunk
3. Start screaming
4. Get naked
5. Scream more
6. Drop things on the ground
7. Rub your boobs on me picking up stuff from the ground
8. Make me watch a music video on your phone
9. Dance like a prostitute hooker and make me keep my eyes on your phone
10. Scream at me to get out of your bedroom
11. Ask me to come in your bedroom room to look as something
12. Decide to stop drinking

That is your 12 step plan!