Vote Bill Bama-Hill for Whatever

*Tired of all the old two-faced candidates? Bill Bama-Hill has three!!

*And three different personalities to go with those faces: country bumpkin, smooth operator, and elitist cow! Each one proven to be electable by our sponsor politicaltools.arg and rigorously tested by A.S.S. (American Society of Shrinkology)!

*Bill is also both male and female, AND, both black and white! So s/he can easily glide over the rough terrain of identity politics!

*As you’ve likely guessed by now, with Bill’s extreme versatility everyone will just have to vote for Bama-Hill! There’s no other choice! But don’t you worry, even with all those personalities and all those different looks, Bill Bama-Hill will always follow the script, never keep his campaign promises, and do the exact same things as all the rest!