Community post
Ask me no questions
Sometimes I have nightmares that I’m still an employer. Then I wake up and thank Jesus, Mary, Joseph, and all the saints that I’ve retired from that game. It’s not that I disliked employing people, it’s just that I can’t imagine trying to do it now, in a world of mobile-phone addiction and attention spans measured in seconds.
For me, the three most important qualities in an employee were speed, lateral thinking, and loyalty. The problem is, how do you put those on a CV? Or are CVs even a thing these days, when a prospective employer can discover the very minutiae of your life just by looking at your social media posts?
I can’t say I ever did put much store in resumes. More often than not, I’d toss them in the bin and invite everyone for an interview lasting no more than five minutes. The way I saw it, a person’s academic achievements said little about them other than that they could learn things by rote and then regurgitate them on demand. I reckoned I could tell more about a candidate by their speed climbing the stairs to the interview room and whether they could maintain eye contact, than I could from the stuff they’d made up on their CV.
My interview process was simple. Anyone who asked about sick leave, overtime rates, or career progression was quickly crossed off the list, followed by those who replied Pride and Prejudice or Lord of the Flies when asked about the last book they’d read.
That usually left me with the one perfect applicant. Job done!
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Posted in response to Galenkp's Weekend experiences asking ' ' Would you prefer a world in which there were no rules at all and no government?".
The images are mine
Replies (29)
Haha, in that case, you'd hire me, my lovely @deirdyweirdy! I don't do slow at work. And, of course, you can add reliability to the list. It should be, "Yes, ma'am, it's on its way!" No waiting. 😉
Often, you can tell whether someone has fire in their belly. You just know. I used to clap my hands to wake the slow ones up and say, "Let's do it!" Haha! 😄
BTW as I was typing, my cat pressed send, so I had to delete my incomplete comment. Lol
lol! Pride and prejudice or lord of the flies because the last books they read, as well as the only books they read, were assigned readings in high school? Cause I'm thinking of reading Pride and Prejudice again. I'd hate to be crossed off your list. I read Lord of the Flies (again) a few years ago, too.
I hired quite a few over the years who looked decent on a resume, interviewed well, but made it clear in the first few minutes on the job that they couldn't do a lick of restaurant work. Too disorganized! Gotta be super efficient and focused to work in a food business. Then there were the applicants who had been sending me resumes (FAXED back in my day) for every job I posted. We had to put ads in the NYTimes! Does anyone do that anymore? I'd only bring in a very few for actual interviews - I'd gotten quite good at weeding out the duds by examination of their resumes. My best trick was to place calls to the employers they hadn't given me a reference from.
Those were the days, eh? Now I am a little old lady no one would ever guess once ruled a food dynasty.
And how about those putting all these "cool" titles on previous works?
"senior manager specialist of the special supplying data"
And shit like that? Calling a shit flower will not make it a flower, just call the things with their name
I love Jane Austin and have read Pride and Prejudice so often that I can quote many passages verbatim, but of course you followed my reasoning. I don't trust anyone who doesn't read.
Y'know, my two best and brightest workers came fresh from Pizzaland. Restaurant workers know how to move their arse and are excellent multitaskers. And I'd know just by looking at you that you were once monarch of all you surveyed:)
Hahaha, I'd hire you in a heartbeat babe...along with your cat:)
Fancy titles weren't so common in my day. We called a spade a spade and a binman had not yet become a garbage disposal engineer:)
Youuuuuuuuur FIRED.!!!
I am my own boss...
Have I told you lately I work for a real ASSHOLE..?
I very much doubt that. You seem like a real sweetheart to me:)
Being an Employer PTSD? ha
For YEARS after I was divorced, out of the blue, I would dream I was still married. (talk about a nightmare!)The whole dream I was trying to figure out at what point I could get away without him seeing me go. ahahahahahaha.... much later I looked at it as PTSD from my marriage.
Yes, it used to matter how you presented yourself when you applied for a job. These days so I hear, nobody even wants to actually see you. I have wondered when hearing all the folks talking about their being no jobs (and maybe there is not?) I wonder if there are no jobs or just no jobs for THEM. That crazy social media stuff people put out there may make it where there are never any jobs.... for them!
BwuuuHahahahahah..!
Fooled Ya...
Aww haha, but my cat thinks I am slow, lol.
A monarch. That's me. I'm sure a few of them referred to me as a queen of some sort.
Knowing what little I do know about your business, I can see that a person who could handle being a part of a restaurant/food business would also excel at what you needed from them. You have to be quick-thinking, quick-moving, and very efficient in both. You have to enjoy being under intense pressure. Those who can't do it look like deer caught in headlights right off the bat. Next!
OK then, my next trip to the library will be for a copy of Pride and Prejudice. I don't remember it at all.
You can thank me next time we meet:)
You can fool me anytime babe.
I'm pretty sure we would have been simpatico, if I applied for a job with you. I'm not sure you would have hired me, because my personality might not have fit your needs.
Work for me has always been something that stole hours from my life. Therefore, I wouldn't want to run my own business. You can never leave it behind when you own it. However, when I was at work, I was always 110%.
I remember one job I worked until I was 8 months pregnant. People would come who needed to be serviced. I was given 'light' work, but as soon as people appeared I'd waddle out onto the floor and help my colleagues. Other slugs, not pregnant or even fat, would look the other way. I couldn't do that. If I was there and I got paid, I worked.
I think you and I would have gotten along fine :)
I'd say we'd have been simpatico about most things, and considering you're a reader, a writer, highly intelligent and often amusing, I'd likely have put you on the payroll immediately. I'm intrigued as to what sort of job you're referring to in your comment.
I'm so glad I'm finished with it all. I'd have to have banned mobiles from the workplace and that sort of draconian measure wouldn't have sit well with me at all. I had some work done on my roof recently and actually saw the workman pause to check his mobile while climbing the ladder.
I've referred to this job before. Well paying, but dreadful. I've always been mortified that I took the job. It was enforcement work--a 'man's job--not good. It paid more than twice my previous salary. Well, it was a man's job, so of course.
I tried to keep my morals and there were lines I wouldn't cross, but did find myself enforcing stuff I didn't believe in. Had a family to support. Me, my mother and my sister who was in college (although she did work also). So, I compromised. But as much disdain as I had for my job, I worked hard, always.
In later years, when I had more options, I never went back although I could have made a lot of money.
Hubba hubba...
LOL! I'm picturing that! Jeepers!
I know teachers would love to be able to ban them too. Work... school.... ugh!
At this point in life you wouldn't hire me, because I wouldn't make it up the stairs. I need an elevator now. Fortunately, I'm not looking for a job.
Add Jane Eyre to that.
No judgement here! I've done more than a few dodgy things to keep afloat:)
At this point in life I wouldn't even hire myself!:)
https://x.com/i/status/2064444979309883403
#hive #posh
Ah yes, the classics! Books that everyone knows but few have read ... unless under duress:)
https://x.com/i/status/2065036953465270287
When I used to seriously teach English/Literature, I'd sit and talk with other English teachers, and it was always the ones that were so into Jane Eyre that I decided could not be long term friends, and lo! Where are they now? They were never impressed with my love of science fiction, and barely knew any author outside the white English canon. Elitist bollocks.
Ha ha ha!!!