A Punny Post.

I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
I can't believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
https://steemitimages.com/DQmQHdAngDzffmzZcTRKZbKp3koHurnn7xBL9N441C7DrMw/calendar-funny-clipart-clipartfest-cool-house-images.jpg
I wasn't originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame.
I was addicted to the hokey pokey... but thankfully, I turned myself around.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
https://steemitimages.com/DQmRVe9umqMcGmu7jQrSg3Fhwc2mkviEBu5NkyfD7955tjF/ToucanPigeon pun.jpg
My friend commented that my clothes looked pretty gay. Well, said I, they did come out of the closet...
Long fairy tales have a tendency to dragon.
I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na...

My girlfriend bet me I’d never be able to build a car out of spaghetti. She sure looked surprised as I drove pasta.
The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

I opened the refrigerator door earlier and the mayonnaise yelled "Close the door, I'm dressing."
When cannibals ate a missionary they got a taste of religion.

Last time I got caught stealing a calendar I got 12 months.
It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

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Image - Original Harlem Shake Darth Vader Elevator Prank Youtube

This morning some clown opened the door for me. I thought to myself that's a nice Jester.
Camping is an extreme pastime. It's in tents.
Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

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