Promise

खुद से, खुद की, रक्षा का वादा |

It was one of my favourite days of the year—Rakshabandhan. The day of promise. A day when, every year, my brother made a promise to protect me, take care of me, and save me for as long as he is alive. In 22 years, this day had come to mean something special to me. It was a day where me and him bonded anew. It was the most special day of the year—the one that mattered the most. The only beauty in this day was him—he kept every promise he made, every day of every year. And just like that, a piece of thread came to mean a lot to me. It was pure, pious, sacred. Nothing could taint it, injure it, or destroy it. But this year, Rakshabandhan was going to be different. Why? Because I had decided so.

I woke up to bright sun rays shining on my porch. It was a beautiful day and it felt like the universe was in rhythm with me. I took my time to get ready. I wore a dark pink suit that was contrasted with golden, supported ethnic earrings on my ears, highlighted my eyes with kohl, decorated my forehead with a typical red bindi, and sprayed myself with a perfume that I had been saving for a special occasion. I had woken up early because no one knew what I was up to and I certainly did not want them to ask me to hurry up or find out before they actually witnessed it. I plucked a white rose from the garden, went to the kitchen, prepared the pooja thali and took it to the pooja room. Everybody was taking their time to get ready so I could do as I had planned in peace. I lit a jyoti as an offering to the idol sitting in the pooja room and waited till the room was filled with the aroma of jasmine incense. My mother came, gave me a suspicious look, and after I had her believed that I was up to nothing stupid, she left. That is when my moment was—to make this Rakshabandhan different.

I picked up a rakhi from the thali, stood in front of the idol, and with great courage tied the rakhi on my own wrist. You see, for so many years, my brother (and my sister as well) have been promising to take care of me through all good and bad things. But there is one person who needed to make that promise to me more than anyone else but never did. Me. So this Rakshabandhan, I changed the way things were and before I let anyone else promise me to take care of me, I promised myself to take care of me.