I'm Not Here

I'm definitely not the smartest person I know. If you were to judge me by the stupidest things I ever did, I'm stupid af.
When I was younger, I knew thousands of things.
I even knew everything about some things. : - )
Then, doubt crept in, stage left. [cue doom music]
And one day, I woke up, and nearly everything was gone.
Just two empty beer bottles standing in the corner.
But once my eyes focused, I realized they were actually the last two things I was sure of.
The first is, CONSCIOUSNESS IS NON LOCAL.
The second is, PERCEPTION IS REALITY.