Nicotine

You died in my dream last night, 

And yet I didn’t wake up crying,

I wanted to feel somewhat sorry for you, 

But it hurt my head just trying,

I found my old suicide note,

I guess that makes me a liar,

I wish I could read what was written, 

But the words were like barbed wire,

I couldn't see the sun this morning, 

Cause it was covered by the clouds,

The world seemed to be cough-drop colored, 

But it was all ignored by lifeless crowds,

God struck me as a pessimist, 

But still I never saw his face,

I wonder if he was smiling, 

When he left without a trace,

I think we’re really all alone, 

And I feel for those who feel the same. 

It’s the things that make us human, 

That show us it’s a curse to have a brain,

Depression seems so artless, 

Am I really even alive? 

It feels so wasteful wasting time, 

I need to find a place to thrive, 

Maybe I’ll look for it tomorrow.