Community post
Little Ru on Risks and Expectations
It seems like risk-taking is an important part of people’s lives. It could even be part of one’s personality. For example, some people like taking risks while others don’t. I would say that my friend Timur (the cat) is a risk-avoider. He tries to avoid me all the time and I have to chase him all over the yard. He thinks that I am a risk.
I was very surprised to find out that there are whole nations of risk takers and risk avoiders. The people who live in my country are not keen on taking risks. Just the opposite to them, the Swedish for example kind of like the uncertainty that follows risk-taking. If you would like to know about your nation, you can check it out here.
To be honest with you, I am not sure what risks are yet. I guess I am too young to know if something is risky. I just do things. Sometimes, in the middle of a game, Mommy says to me “No-no”. So, I figured out that I need to say “No-no” when I do certain things. Like throwing my toys through the balcony. Yesterday, I threw the lemon squeezer and I said “No-no”. I am a quick learner!
Maybe when you take risks you learn?
Three days ago Mommy took me to an expedition in the small forest nearby. We were looking for mushrooms and she was considering the risk of taking some home. She told me that she knew that these mushrooms are safe to eat because they don’t have a poisonous double here. However, in the end, she just sighed and said that she cannot take them home because after having me she is not that risk-taker anymore. Not that she was ever a huge risk-taker. But she liked to pick penny buns once.
I guess this is something that is important when you are up to take a risk. You should never be stupid. Risk-taking doesn’t equal being stupid. I suppose that according to Mommy picking mushrooms when you have a child to take care of is a stupid thing and an unnecessary risk-taking.
Although Mommy avoided being stupid about the mushrooms, she took a risk when she didn’t apply any insect repellant on me. So, I was bitten by a tick. I guess going to the forest was a risk after all.
And here is another thing. I wouldn’t say that I am particularly a forest-fan. Actually, I don’t care if I am in the forest, or at the beach, or in the yard, as long as there are sticks around. Usually, I find good sticks everywhere. But Mommy and Daddy take me to the forest too often because they like it and they hope that I am going to like it. And this is how parents put expectations on their children.
They also like the mountains. But I don’t know what are mountains yet. So, they bought me a special mountain T-shirt. Actually, they want me so badly to like forests and mountains that they bought three identical T-shirts with mountains on them. Now we have the same T-shirts! Tell me, isn’t that lame?
I didn’t care much about the tick but unfortunately, it led to Mommy and Daddy calling my Pediatrician. And then taking me to her. I don’t like going there at all. I cried just to be sure that I will scare her away. But she seemed to be immune to my crying. She has too many children crying over there and she is used to it. I should think of another way of escaping her. Like not going to the forest anymore?
Maybe Mommy shouldn’t have taken me to the forest and this was an unnecessary risk. However, this means that they shouldn’t take me to the beach because a wasp stung me last summer. And the yard is not much safer. How am I supposed to chase my friend Timur The Cat if I am not allowed to go to the yard?
Nooo! You can’t live properly if you try to avoid risks at any cost. And you shouldn’t be stupid when you take risks.
So what now? Am I a risk-taker? I don’t know, I am still not sure what risks are yet. Sometimes I cry when I do some things, sometimes I laugh… I guess risks make you cry sometimes or make you happy and you are never sure what is going to be this time. But you hope for the best. What else could you do?
Created by @insight-out, Valeria Sim.
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Images: My archive. Use only with permission.
Replies (39)
Loved this latest post in your "Little Ru" series @insight-out. What a treasure and blessing to be able to enjoy our little ones learning about the "big, wide world" all around them. Little Ru is fortunate to have you and your husband as his parents.
Lots and lots I could write in response to some of your key points, but ... Likely it would end up being a post. On your post ... 😉
I think I'll just summarize by saying how important it is to allow our children to experience risky situations. It is absolutely essential to this father that I elected do so with mine. Which was modeled for me by my parents ... A legacy for which I will always be grateful.
Taking that chance, do we know how allowing our children to enter into what may prove to be "harm's way" will turn out? No, we do not know, but we "walk by faith" ...
Have a great day "over there!"
P.S. Nominated this post for one of the orgs for which I somehow managed to be deemed worthy of being a curator. Likely you have another @curie award winner here. Nice work! 👍
Okay @insight-out, maybe a little "extra" for some input on your brilliant post. Comparing our two countries / cultures (see below), from the fascinating resource you've listed, there is a lot here.
As an American, the #1 "take away" for me is the difference in "Individualism" (a positive for this Steemian) and "Indulgence" (an even stronger negative for this Steemian). Our individualism is what has been a very important historical distinctive, so interesting to find it still has a relatively high ranking, although I think it is nonetheless greatly diminished from what it once was. Not good. And our "indulgence" and the seemingly insatiable "drivers" behind it. Even worse ...
In your post, you "call out" Sweden for being risk-takers. Years ago, we were looking to buy a home in the very northwestern corner of Washington state. In a little Dutch community. Our realtors were a man - woman team. He had (recent) Dutch ancestry and she (recent) Swedish ancestry. They told us a story with which they both agreed. This little community was a large boggy, swampy mess when the first settlers appeared in the area. Not habitable, in the eyes of some.
Like, the Swedes ... 😉 They took one look at the area, saw only problems as far as the eye could see and said "not for us" and settled in towns right on the coast, on "high ground" which was safe and secure. The Dutch? They looked at the area and saw opportunity. They set to work and transformed the land!
How? By their ingenuity and experience in knowing how to lay in "tiles" and drain the land, turning it into a very productive agricultural area. The result? Washington leads the nation in raspberry production, of which ~ 95% of it is in Whatcom County. My oldest children earned a very nice income (for children), working in these fields surrounding our little town ...
Risk? Problems? Reward? Opportunity? All in the "eye of the beholder" ...
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Hey, thanks for your kind words, @roleerob! I really enjoy being around when our little one is discovering the world. This is one of the things that I find to be a blessing when you become a parent (or work with children). You get to discover the world once again - to be curious, to ask questions, to be amazed, to be happy about the tiniest things :)
I wouldn't mind if you post a post on my post :D This sounded like a hip-hop chorus :D
I couldn't agree more. It's scary sometimes but like you said, you walk by faith. And you hope for the best. But one thing is certain: if you try to protect your children at any cost, you will harm them for sure.
I believe that most of the time legacy pays more if it is in skills, attitude, mindsets, and beliefs, rather than material belongings.
And in the end, thank you for curating this post! It got a @currie vote indeed. But what I appreciate even more are your valuable comments! (I leave your second comment for later, I have so many things to say, that first I have to think how to narrow them down :D )
Thank you very much for your support!
So, now let's get to this replay. I would say that we have two completely opposite cultures here. Where Bulgaria scores high, the US scores low. And the other way around. The two culture seem to have nothing in common :)
I wouldn't say that I find collectivism to be a bad thing. Like you, I think that this is something that is an important national trait for us. People here stay connected. Families and extended families are close. This is something that foreigners find exciting about this country. But there is a negative side as well. People interfere in each other' lives and are usually more judgmental. No one minds their own business :D
In fact, I think that individualism is something that seems to be very difficult to adapt to when it comes to Bulgarian emigrants. Most of them complain about the other culture different "closeness". You can often hear: "Friends/families there are not like friends/families here". I guess the clash between collectivism and individualism is something which makes it difficult for them to get used to it. On the other hand, you can hear the same people saying: "It's a free society. Everyone is doing what they want and no one interferes". So they dislike the same cultural trait they like at the same time. That is because everything has two sides :)
The only thing you dislike about your country's culture is what I find great about it and am a bit jealous - indulgence. If you read the construct description below the charts you will see that indulgence is connected to optimism. And I think that optimism besides individualism is something that really shaped America. To let yourself enjoy life is something that brings happiness to your life. And happy people are usually the people who do good :) At least that's what I think. Bulgarians are rather pessimistic and skeptical.
But I guess I know what you were referring here. Pop culture lately has a focus on extreme consumption and materialism. It's like Idiocracy coming to life.
And, the more I look at the charts, the more I realize that I am a good representative of my society. Like it or not. Actually, I don't like it too much :D I would rather be on the optimistic side of the world :)
My little one is up, so I got to get going :)
When asked about my children @insight-out and the choices we have made concerning them, I will typically just sum it up simply with "they are a blessing and deepen our lives" ... And leave it at that.
Fun to read about that in your life, as it is unfolding. And you do a great job of it, so don't stop! 🤗
And yes my dear Steemian friend ...
... I can certainly ... uhhh ... "relate" to this. My latest attempt to write a post < 1,000 words ... How did that go? Failed again ... 😉
If you don't mind my asking, are you a SAHM (stay at home Mom)? I don't recall seeing anything about that, in your earlier posts.
As always, I enjoyed reading your “replay” and finding out your perspective on our cultural differences @insight-out. I would say there certainly are some, but in reading through what you have to say here, I think some of it is partly just simple differences in interpretation of some words.
For example, what you have to say about “collectivisim,” I would link to our word community. America once had a much greater sense of community than we do now. Being closely connected to family and neighbors was commonplace. Particularly true in small towns, which is why my wife and I greatly prefer them over bigger population centers. What is left of the historic sense of community in America today is most likely to be found in small towns, in general, and, even then, most likely in small farming communities. A lot more I could say here, but that is the general idea in linking your cultural reference to “collectivism” to ours …
And, as for this @insight-out …
… I say “What?!” I have to read the “directions?” 😧 Oh no, not that … Say it isn’t so! I’m a guy and we don’t have time to read directions … 😏 😉
Seriously, okay now I took the time to actually read “the directions,” rather than simply respond based on what the word “indulgence” means to me … and … Hmmm, here is what I am reading …
… and I do not find the word optimism. 😉
You and I are certainly like-minded on what you have to say about optimism and, yes, I think America has historically been remarkably optimistic. I would go so far as to link that characteristic to our Judeo-Christian worldview, which is distinctive, given our history in comparison to much of the rest of the world. But … We are “progressively” (there’s that word again … 😉) losing it …
What you say reminds me of my very first conversation (in northern England in the 1980s …) with the man who was soon to become my boss. He was very excited, since he had lived there briefly before, to be returning to America. Why? He said we, as a people, were so much more hopeful than what he experienced “back home.” He was pleased it had worked out that he could return there, having just started his family. And he told me he had no intention of returning to England either … Older than me, he retired awhile back. But, we keep in touch, from time to time (long story …). And, yes, he is still in America, retired to a small community in Virginia …
Well, gotta run and get on into my day here. “Things to do and places to go” which is not possible while “furiously” tapping away on my keyboard and clicking away on my mouse … 😉
Until “next time” @insight-out, I hope you and yours are enjoying a great day!
One very quick reference to the "Penny Bun" photo in your post @insight-out, which I did not comment on yesterday. Very nice picture to see you holding one and enjoyed reading how you wove reference to mushrooms then throughout this post.
Here in the western U.S., I learned to find mushrooms years ago, but only was comfortable myself with "harvesting" just one species in the wild and bringing them home to eat. We called them "King Boletes," but I believe they are certainly a close "cousin" of your "Penny Bun," if not the exact same mushroom.
Elsewhere, I have made brief mention of this in past posting "in here" and referenced possibly writing a travel post about my "mushroom hunting" days with family, particularly my youngest son (who has very fond memories of them) ...
Just one small problem. We've moved more than once since then and my pictures of that time are in a box somewhere (I think / hope ...) Who knows. Maybe one day ...
Quick question @insight-out - do you see the full comment from c-squared? I ask, because what I see is:
Perhaps you have done this intentionally, but assuming that is not so, you may wish to check into this and see why it appears this way. At least it does, when I am looking at your post on SteemPeak ...
Thanks for your encouragement, @roleerob!
No, I am on my maternity leave. You can take up to 2 years of paid maternity leave here. During the first year, you get 90% of your net salary. And during the second year, you get a small amount of money as support. Actually, it's like that in many European countries (you can check this article). So, it's not only the too many paid vacations in Europe you were joking about :D However, these are part of the good EU policies and traditions.
I am supposed to get back to work at the end of January, but since I left the city I was working at, I have to figure out what am I going to do next. And I am having a kind of a dilemma :)
Haha. I opened the site again to paste you the text describing the optimism and guess what I found. You were right! There is no optimism mentioned in the US description. Actually, we read two different descriptions. You read about the US society which is an indulgent one and I read about the Bulgarian society which is a restrictive one. And none of the descriptions used the word optimism. They only made a connection between restrictive societies (like the Bulgarian) and pessimism.
Pessimism is something that I find very tiring - you can see and feel it everywhere here. Especially with the older generations. So, I kind of understand your ex-boss who wanted to move to the US. An optimistic society is a blessing. Makes everything look better. But it is what it is :) And things (mindsets) are slightly changing here.
P.S. I wasn't aware that drug abuse is so high in the US. That was a surprise to me. To be honest, I expected shooting and murder to be high because of the weapon permission. Weapons... this is something that is very curious about US culture in my opinion.
Oh, this is so exciting! This is the exact same mushroom. They are delicious! I didn't know how is it called in English and just liked one of the names in the dictionary - penny bun (sounded somehow nice to me) :)
I would love a post about your mushroom "hunting" :D Especially, with the old photos if you find them :)
Do you still go out to collect mushrooms?
No, the comment appeared just for a while yesterday and then disappeared. And I haven't set any preferences. Oh, now I see. I have somehow muted it some time ago perhaps. It should work now, I guess.
Thanks!
Wow @insight-out ...
... I guess so, although your link appears to indicate Bulgaria is "head and shoulders" above the rest! 😉
Yes, I can imagine ...
... so, I hope we can look forward to future posts about it! And, of course, if asked I'm sure a lot of your fellow Steemians will be quite happy to offer their input on what you decide ... 😉
Yes, it is now fixed! For your sake, didn't want to have others "visiting" and thinking "What?!" upon seeing that ...
Agreed @insight-out that "penny bun" has a certain ring to it. 😉
No, not in some time. With my children out in the "big, wide world" on their own, I have less incentive for undertaking the "adventure" of tracking them down ...
Here these are found at elevations of +10,000 feet (+ 3 km). At lower elevations, we have found "cousins" which, at first glance, appear to be the same, but they are not. If you cut into the "meat" of them, they will turn a purplish color. While not poisonous, they do not taste good at all ...
I remember telling my wife, after she had expressed her concerns about what I was doing finding and eating wild mushrooms, that I had done some research and had good news. And bad news ...
The good news? It is very rare eating wild mushrooms will be fatal. The bad news? Eat the wrong one(s) and you will suffer serious damage to your liver! Okay, that was enough for me to just focus on these, as they are the most distinctive among those found in the mountains where we live ...
The "rest of the story?" After noticing I ate them and did not die or anything else (you know, the "royal food taster" ... 😉), my wife joined me in eating them in our omelettes for breakfast and agree they taste yummy!
Yes @insight-out ...
... and our optimism is considerably less than it once was, so perhaps we'll "meet in the middle" someday ... 😉
Upon reading the "indulgence" detail for Bulgaria, I see to what you were originally referring. It is still interesting to me, first, that this English word is tied to the word "pessimism." I consider myself to have a fairly good command of "the King's English" and would not have thought to associate these two words ...
Anyway, this description of Bulgaria ...
... conveys a somewhat "dark" view of culture there. Frankly, what I have always read about communist societies comes to mind in seeing reference to "a tendency to cynicism and pessimism," but ... Having never been around one, I certainly don't pretend to know for sure ...
As for drug abuse, yes it is a serious problem here. And linked, in my view, to the decline of our optimism, among many other factors. Like the relentless effort to destroy our historic Judeo-Christian worldview ...
Ahhh yes, "weapons" ... 😉 Most of my fellow Americans have no clear idea behind why our Second Amendment rights are so important (yes, my dear Bulgarian friend, I am a strong advocate for them ...). Our "right to bear arms" has nothing to do with self-defense or hunting, as it is far too commonly portrayed in the press here.
It has everything to do with "the means of last resort against a tyrannical government." Arising from the tremendous sacrifice of our forefathers to be free of the tyrannical rule of an English King ... And to remain free from that point forward ...
Someday, perhaps I will write about riding on a train to London with my fellow former "English colony" compatriots, when the topic of "you Americans and your love affair with guns" came up ...
It would make an interesting article. However, it's an extremely controversial topic and perhaps it would lead to a hot discussion.
Weapons are somehow part of the American tradition and culture and seem to be a big part of the American identity. And the weapon market is a huge and very profitable market. So, I guess it is a win-win situation.
Personally, I am against it. If there is a referendum about it here I would vote "No". But this is a whole other discussion and maybe we can have it in another place :)
Haha, yes, head and shoulders indeed :) It is part of our government's effort to deal with the demographic crisis here and encourage families to have children. It's very good for families and maybe it's not so good for the economy. However, the policy in Germany (the biggest economy in Europe) is very similar:
So, maybe it's OK for the economy.
There is no such thing as paid maternity leave in the US, right? How do people usually manage after having children?
First of all, thank you for converting the feet into km for me! I noticed that you did it in some other comments you left me and it is so so kind and thoughtful!
Second, 3 km high! I didn't realize that you live at such high ground!
About the mushrooms... this penny bun doesn't have a poisonous double here and it is easy to be distinguished. And they are truly delicious! And your wife is lucky to have a royal food taster at home :D
We call them манатарка (manatarka). They are expensive and valuable mushrooms here and around Europe as a whole.
The other one that is in this post could also be found in the US (links here and here). Although there is another mushroom that it could be mistaken for (but not a deadly one).
I am very happy that I can share my mushroom passion with someone. It's a relatively new thing for me and most of the times I am only observing and taking pictures :)
Yes @insight-out indeed ...
... a crisis in many western cultures, including America today (although we have yet to take the measures some others have, such as those you cite ...). Do you ever wonder why that is? I am asking for your perspective, from the way you were raised, what you have been taught there in your country and what you have been led to believe from your culture.
Yes, America does have maternity leave, but nothing like what you are enjoying. Frankly, it is new enough that I am not "up on it," but I think I am correct to say it is still left to organizations to set their own policy vs. having it mandated at the Federal level. And ... To be competitive in the marketplace for talented workers, it is offered ... All that to say six months is what I think I have heard, but not certain ... I think I've read some "cutting edge" workplaces are even starting to offer maternity leave for men ...
My wife stayed home with our children, so once again we are "outside the norm" on that front, as that is rare these days in America. I still remember the "hit" we took to our income, when she stopped working ... But, it was our free will decision and we have never regretted it. From what our children have chosen to say to us, they are aware of that and greatly appreciate it ...
P.S. It is Father's Day here in America tomorrow. If you wish to read what @roleerob is capable of, when feeling led to really "lay it out," you can read what I wrote to our church leaders here in my Father's Day post a year ago, on the topic of children and what they represent ...
Yes well @insight-out ...
... I don't live at that elevation. We just have to go out into the mountains and get up to that level to find the really good places for King Boletes.
Yes, nice to "talk" with someone who enjoys this "hobby!" Those other ones look familiar, but I decided I just didn't want to chance it. We see many other types out in the mountains. Once, early on in developing this interest, my beloved and I came across a family gathering many types of mushrooms in their baskets.
Expressing our interest, they were happy to show us what they had harvested. Beyond the danger it represented for us, I also noted that a lot of them were remarkably
small"dainty" ... 😉 ... and it seemed like a lot of work for very little benefit (eating ...), let alone the added risk (there's that word again ...).P.S. Thank you for noticing I was making the conversions for you. Something I have tried to consistently do in all of my posting "in here," as I am well aware much of the world is metric-based ...
Yes @insight-out ...
... perhaps ... 😉
There is no mystery. They are based upon the Second Amendment, as part of the Bill of Rights, to the U. S. Constitution - the oldest on earth. To protect us against tyranny, as I state above ...
Beyond what I state above, if any foreign adversary ever felt capable of defeating the U. S. military, before "taking over," they would next face the most heavily armed people on the face of the earth ...
The "Reader's Digest version" of that conversation, started when I'd had enough of my countryman's miserable attempt to defend us in the face of a relentless verbal "assault" from our Aussie comrades (sitting across from us on the train ride down to London ...). Based on his right to hunt squirrels in West Virginia or some such nonsense ...
I started in "With all due respect to my friend here ...", then proceeded to give them a brief history lesson. Which of course included the fact we'd won our independence from "Mother England" by force of arms, while Australia (Canada, etc. ...) had acquiesced in becoming part of the British Commonwealth ...
Using the recent (at that time) example of the Tiananmen Square Massacre in China, to illustrate the helplessness of most people against a tyrannical government, since they've been disarmed, they began to "back pedal" agreeing that was terrible. When I pointed out their Commonwealth Governor (representing a "foreign power" - Britain) had recently dissolved their government, but nothing was done in spite of serious protests, they were embarrassed that I even knew about it ...
Anyway, maybe I'll write more about it some day. Like on Independence Day ... 😉
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STOPIndependence day - that is close :)
Well, it's none of my business, it's not my country and it's not directly concerning the US foreign (military) policy (which is something that sadly concerns everyone on Earth) and what you say certainly makes sense ... but for a time that has already long passed.
Nowadays "tyrannical governments" have new faces - like businesses and private interests tightly bond with governments. Those who govern are not our presidents or prime-ministers but the businesses which stand behind them. And sadly I think that the US is very much into this situation right now and maybe even ahead of many other western countries (not us for sure).
On the other hand, the US police shoot much more people than anywhere else in the western world. Recent years the peaceful protests in the US often have ended with fire.
And those children armed like soldiers killing their schoolmates... And the weapon detectors put on school front-doors... it sounds and looks unbelievable to me. I don't think that there is an equivalent to this in Europe, Asia, and all other continents, except maybe some parts of Africa.
To me, it looks like something that had protected your nation 300 years ago is turning against you. I think that we all need a different kind of "weapons" nowadays that would help us confront this new kind of "governments". And this is education, critical and analytical thinking, emotional intelligence, social responsibility, etc.
Good morning @insight-out. Up “with the roosters” 🌄 (here) and reading your latest … Well written my dear Bulgarian friend and “from the heart,” I am sure …
My first thought, on reading it, is “are we okay?” For me, having reasonably objective “spirited” discussions is something which not only doesn’t bother me, I enjoy them. I do not view myself, however, at least here in America, as … uhhh … “normal” in our culture today. Most will do one of two things: 1) “Head for the hills” at the sign of anything which might lead to confrontation, or 2) Drop any “reasonably objective” response and become intensely personal to “shut down” any further conversation.
So … While I certainly can respond more in depth, for now, I will just ask a couple of quick questions:
Make one quick clarifying comment on my own thoughts on our "engagement" ... 😉 “Closing the communication gap” is how I think of it. Not “winning” nor “losing,” but simply “closing the gap” by having a “healthy” debate. Essential to me is that it be conducted in more or less a civil and respectful manner …
And close on this …
and simply ask you “Is it long passed?” Would you be surprised to learn I have personally had “conversations” here on our Steem blockchain (and Discord) with people from Venezuela? About what? Whether or not I might have news (they have zero trust in theirs …) about the U.S. militarily intervening to “save” them … Not out of fear, but out of hope! If you were in my place, how would you respond?
P.S. Yesterday was Father’s Day here in America, so I mostly “took the day off” from any Steem writing …
I have enjoyed this new contribution from Ru very much. Also, I was reading your dialogue with @roleerob with great interest:)
What you say about taking risks and the typology you associate with it, of course, encourages me to think about the construction of cultural characteristics of a nation. I tend to put any quality attributed to people under a constructivist perspective, because people per se tend to seek identification.
How to identify a cultural heritage has to do with historiography and the religion from which we come. Christian work ethics has certainly shaped the much quoted Prussian view of work of us Germans. Broken down to the individual human being, however, I think the richness of facets is much greater than if one collectively considers a nation. Even among the Japanese, who are commonly said to have a higher loyalty to the group than to us Europeans, probably only those who live in the conviction and identification that the common good is above the welfare of the individual are so convinced. Others who question these beliefs and consciously examine the construction may think differently.
While beliefs may still produce strong constructions, I think capitalism has the same influence on all nations in terms of economies and business. Metropolises influence people's behaviour through their own structure: roads, transport routes, buildings, transshipment ports, technology, etc. The morning and evening traffic jams in Los Angeles, for example, hardly give workers a chance to behave differently. In Jerusalem, Rome, Sofia and Berlin, commercial transactions, bookkeeping and contracts are made on the basis of the same principles. Airports are managed in the same way around the world.
What I want to say is that the structures we have created for our human coexistence have a great influence. The phrase "too big to fail" may well signify this.
The political decisions of nations, if you ask me, are often determined by strong individuals who feel and act against the mainstream. Perhaps five percent of a population are able to break away from their prevailing constructivist convictions and offer new narratives that appear innovative.
For me it is like this: the collective beliefs such as "he who does not work shall not eat" or "idleness is the beginning of all vice" contain very contradictory views. I know you are also inclined to see both aspects of a statement: The true in it and the problematic.
I recently had a fresh parent couple, an Asian and a Dutchman. The woman said to her man that she found that he would intervene too quickly in a situation concerning the one-year-old child and his interactions with other babies. I had once read that Asian mothers intervene much less quickly than European mothers and so I offered this construction to the couple.
It is said that Asian mothers let a situation go as long as they don't see any real danger. But what "danger" actually means to one does not mean to the other. When toddlers throw sand in a sandbox, a German mother may quickly intervene and tell her child that one should not do such a thing, while an Asian mother only intervenes when a child starts crying. The one tends to avoid a danger, the other goes with it. I prefer to go with the flow and observe the outcome of a situation rather than to intervene too quickly. Mostly, nothing harmful happens while children explore their environment. Avoidance is connected to the unwillingness to have to deal with harm (crying or injured children).
There is an example of a Maasai mother who, in order to settle the dispute between her two children over a piece of bread, breaks the piece of bread in two and hands it to the older of the two children. This child looks at both pieces in his hand and then hands one over to his younger sibling.
A European mothers does not do that. She breaks the bread and gives it to the children herself. This novelty of enabling children to leave a decision that they can make at the age of three or four to their children is evidence of a way that we Europeans do not know. This may then be traced back to the aspect of "power distance", but then I see that with a score of 35 for the Germans this statement cannot be true. The authority that decides how the pieces of bread are distributed, from above, testifies to an inherent habit of regulating things from above and contradicts the score value.
While one believes that we Germans are a Power Distance people, I would say that my perception tells me something different when I am in conversations with friends and acquaintances or colleagues. There is often a demand for a "strong hand", an expression that was coined in the early 2000s by our SPD Chancellor Gerhard Schröder, as much as my memory does not deceive me. The hierarchies in many public institutions are still strong and the individualist would wither there miserably. So it is probably quite good that some areas are run traditionally, while others break with tradition.
To deal with the paradoxes and contradictions and to move calmly in this field of tension is my appeal not only to others, but also to myself.
As interesting as such typologies are, they are sometimes controversial, not because they are completely wrong, but because they stir up prejudice, especially if you catch people on the wrong foot and use characteristics as weapons. Have you ever heard someone shout, "Oh, how wonderful, that's typical of you! How beautiful, your helpful nature has saved the situation! LOL We often use typologies in a negative sense and say: "Typical. Once again you have pulled yourself out of the affair!
As you can see, I found your article very inspiring and had a lot to say about it. You often would have seen me smile because I found the pictures of Ru so touching and I felt strongly reminded of my son at that age. What a wonderful time! Continue along in your quest to show him mountains and forests. :))
Dear, Erica, thank you for your wonderful comment!!! :D It's so meaningful and seta a whole new avalanche of questions.
Hahha, no, I haven't! In my entire life! :D
You are right that things are controversial. When it comes to one sphere of public life nations could behave in a certain way and demonstrate certain beliefs and at the same time people within that nation could act accordingly to other beliefs in their private lives . When I researched this nation character thing I stumbled upon research on British optimism. It showed that the Brits are optimistic when it comes to their private lives and plans, but at the same time they are pessimistic when it comes to larger events. So they have optimism and pessimism at the same time as a national character.
Bulgarians also talk about the need of the strong hand and rules. You can also hear someone saying "Look at the Germans (or the Swedes, or the Americans). They have rules and laws in their country!" But at the same time, we don't follow rules very much and people here tend to break the law as it's the norm on a daily basis (e.g. not following the speed limits, not paying their taxes, giving and taking bribes, parking wherever they want, etc.). And if there is a "strong hand" there would be a huge wave of indignation against it.
I often find that what people articulate to be their beliefs and mindsets often differ with what they do. I think that most of the time we are not completely aware of who we are - sometimes we cannot exactly tell the difference between who we wish to be and what our behavior says about us. So, I am always a bit skeptic when it comes to self-reports :)
It's very interesting what you say about mothers (parents) interventions. I have always thought that Germans and Brits intervene much slower than Bulgarians and Balkan parents as a whole. We have many German tourists in my home town during the summer and I have always been amazed how little they intervene with their children. Here we intervene immediately. You hear the word "No" everywhere. "Don't run", "Don't climb", "Don't touch". It looks like our parental style is all about the "don'ts". Which is something that terrifies me? I tried to fight it. It's against my understanding of bringing up a happy child :) I think it has to do with our high level of uncertanty avoidance. We cannot bear to watch and wait to see what the children will do.
It is very difficult to try to not be this kind of parent with the pressure of the rest of the parents and the society as a whole. You can easily get a piece of parental advice everywhere and by everyone here. People look at children as if they are everyone's children. I think that it has to do with our "collectivism". I wonder is it like this in Germany, where the society is rather individualistic?
So, thanks again for your wonderful comment. I am sorry that my response is a bit late. I couldn't get to Steemit these days.
Hugs for you and for your grown boy!
Hey there, @roleerob! I am sorry it took me so much time to respond. I couldn't get to Steemit these days.
Of, course we are OK. I was even surprised that you asked such a thing. So, if something that I wrote sounded rude or anything, I am sorry! I wrote it in a hurry and maybe I didn't use the right words.
But you got it right even though I didn't say it straight. I am firmly against US military interventions around the world. I don't think that the intervention in Iraq, Syria, or Afghanistan did any good to the people there, I don't think it will do any good to the Venezuelans. I don't think that it is about saving someone. I think it's all about businesses. And the military business is a very profitable one.
I am absolutely on the same page with you that this is just a debate, it's not about winning or losing. But when it comes to businesses doing their profit on destroying people's lives, I get too emotional. How many soldiers (from both sides) have died and left their children and loved ones ... to make someone richer? (Here, it's happening again. I get emotional).
You are such a good person, @roleerob and I know that you are convinced that US is definitely helping and saving those people because it is what you would do. But governments and businesses don't have souls and hearts. They are only doing what's in their best interest. At least, that's how I see it.
A belated happy father's day! I am pretty sure you are a wonderful father, so I hope that you had a great day!
I wasn't able to log in Steemit almost for a week - my mother in law was visiting, I had to go to some places and deal with some papers for our future house, and at the end, my little one got a cold and has been quite cranky the last two days. So, my belated response has nothing to do with us being not OK, OK? (haha, again sounds like a hip-hop rhyme, lol).
See you later!
Good morning (here) @insight-out. Just dropping in quickly to comment ...
You have nothing to apologize for, as I believe you are simply sharing "from the heart" what you believe. The way you see the world ... As am I ... 😉
My question is really just me reaching out to ensure I have not inadvertently "said" something which creates problems. I know from hard experience most people expressing an interest in discussions of the nature of ours here have (at least to me) a remarkably low threshold of what they deem to be acceptable ...
While that may sound a bit judgmental perhaps, it is more shaped by my having at least some sensitivity to hearing references years ago to "ugly Americans," when I was traveling internationally ...
As with any of these topics, much more could be said, but no time ... And the limitations of this particular form of human interaction ... 😏
I am now in the eastern U.S. with my beloved visiting our children. Not returning home until early July. While I will maintain some limited contact "in here," my own time will be done for awhile ...
Hope you and your loved ones are maybe enjoying another nice summer day on the beach! 😊👍
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Thank you, @steemitboard! Sadly, I don't feel like celebrating as I've just read your note about @walhart not being with us anymore.
Birthdays don't matter really. What matters is what we leave behind. I hope we all follow @walfhart's example in this.
This sounds awful! I am sorry you had to hear it! I hope I didn't sound like that! I never meant to!
Have a wonderful time with your family! We will be visiting my mother in law next week, so I am also going to be less Steemit present :D
Safely back home and slowly catching up (too many non-Steem priorities ...) @insight-out, thought I would drop you a quick post excerpt from another Steemian on the phrase "ugly American"
So ... To be clear, this phrase was not personally directed at me. I was just aware of it, when I began to make my first international trips ...
Hopefully that sets your mind at ease that it was nothing in what you have written which led to my making this reference.
Dear @insight-out
I just visited your account to see if you published anything new only to realize that you seem to give up on Steemit? :(
Hope you're not done with this platform yet.
Yours,
Piotr
Hey there, @crypto.piotr! Nice to hear from you :) I haven't given up on Steemit but recently I try to distribute my time between some personal projects, Steemit and spending summertime with my family. Sadly, I feel like I don't have enough time to do all I want to do :) I am pretty sure, you know the feeling :)
I hope, that you and your family are doing OK in your new home :)
Dear @insight-out
I didn't hear from you in a very long time. I really hope you and your family are fine :)
Cheers
Piotr
Thanks for asking, @crypto.piotr! Everything and everyone is fine! I took a Steemit break because I needed to focus on some of my personal projects and have more time for friends and family :)
How are you and your family doing? I hope you are having a great time in your homeland :)