Community post
Fight (Poem)
I can now write a poem like this about a breakup and feel grateful that I am with my husband. I chose the title "Fight" for this poem, but it could easily be called "Breakup". The memory is still very real and one that I think is somewhat universal. The couple here goes on a trip, hoping that it would save their relationship but really, they're just going through the motions because that's what they know how to do. Inevitably, the breakup comes and the relationship ends, sometimes with a shout, sometimes with a whimper.
In this poem, the speaker is grappling with reality and denial. I think it's almost done because I'm at the point now where I'm messing around with the line breaks or changing a word here and there. Any comments / critiques, however, are welcome.
https://steemitimages.com/DQmSspC1yopT9sE55CjYxSAR4Xzieqm9dxhZWy5VGnmyDdZ/plaza_bridge_england_sky_cloud_color_colour_reflection-584483.jpg
Photo credit: Pxhere
Fight
At nine a.m., you're still asleep,
one arm curled around my pillow.
You wouldn't touch me at all
during the long drive yesterday.
Instead, you squinted into the dark
while B. B. King crooned about love gone bad.
Downstairs, the cook fries bacon
and brews coffee for breakfast.
The smells rise to our rooms.
You stir, blink, then turn.
But look--sunlight is splitting the clouds over the inn.
It strikes an eagle skimming the river for fish.
And here's a couple back from their jog,
laughing as they stretch on the wet grass.
Get up, please. Won't you get up
and see the eagle before it's gone?
Replies (8)
Fighting is really tough in a relationship. I had a girlfriend for 4 years once, we lived together.
By the end I felt everything she said to me was sending negative vibrations right to my heart. We had went into a negativity spiral and I didn't want to touch her at all, like in your poem. I could only associate her with the pain she made me feel.
I like how the last paragraph has the happy couple too, because it makes you think how most unhappy couples start happy, and also how there is always another chance after failure.
Also I might be wrong about this ... but I would recommend you choose 50% SBD and 50% STEEM for rewards.
I think if you trade the SBD to STEEM at the market place you end up with a better deal.
Thanks for sharing that. It’s so interesting to hear about it from a guy’s POV. It doesn’t occur to us (women) that there are reasons why men lose their desire for intimacy.
And yes, there is always another chance for happiness, either with the one you’re currently with or when you’re ready to move on to someone new.
Thank you also for the 50/50 tip. I still have lots to learn about Steem rewards, wallet, etc. I dug into the white paper tonight but have more to read.
Sometimes a guy wants more than a tight pair of yoga pants... sometimes 😋
Hopefully I'll meet a girl I like soon.
Aye, it is hard when things end acrimoniously. It happens to us all alas. You meet, you fall in love, you think it will last forever, something goes wrong, harsh words are said, bitter blame is attributed and you break.
But you can still be friends right? Maybe, probably not though. Too much tiptoeing over eggshells to ever truly be honest with each other again.
For some reason when love cuts deep the wounds it leaves run so much deeper.
My trouble has always been I care too much sighs
Hang in there. It takes time. I met my hubby online. It was a long-distance relationship at first. I don't ordinarily recommend that, but it worked for us. The thing that stands out about my relationship with him is that it feels easy. It's not easy all of the time, of course, but it's easy most of the time. I think that's how it's supposed to be.
On a dating website?
Yes, we met on match.com. The competition, I think, is worse for men on Match, which, of course, worked out for me :) If you have the stomach for it christianmingle.com has a higher ratio of women to men, so that could work out better for you. That wasn't my thing, though, and if it's not yours, there are things you can do on match.com or similar websites to help stand out. Maybe I should work on a post about this...