I'm tired

Ok, so here it goes, my life is shit right now. It isn't really fair that I pretend otherwise. My Aunt unexpectedly died two weeks ago. My sister is a raging alcoholic that lost her job due to drinking and is in a codependent relationship right now with a man she met at AA, he's old enough to be her father. I sit in silence every single night and watch my husband play candy crush, or watch whatever random sport is on tv.
And honestly? I 'm tired. I decided at age 19 to have a baby, he is in college now and turns 20 in 6 days. Then I got married and have had 2 more children. My oldest 2 children have FRAGILE X SYNDROME, passed down by me.....
Tonight I sat in my own living room speaking to my child (19), with a mental disability, about how I do not like him playing violent video games, when his father thought he should chime in to remind him that "he is an adult".
So, I am tired. I am tired, as a mom, to have to justify my opinion when my husband's word is final.
I am tired of men believing that it is still 1950.
I am tired of questioning my own sanity.
I am tired of feeling like I am not good enough.
I am tired of picking up EVERYONE's SHIT.
I am tired.
My soul is tired.
And honestly, I don't even know what to do. Because what do you do when you have been a mom for 20 years, and slowly you are becoming nothing?