I'm sorry

I’m sorry for pushing you away, the thing is, I’ve had some bad experiences before. I’ve had a lot of trouble with trusting people and letting them in. I know, that says a lot about who I am. I know that running away and suddenly closing myself makes me look like a little crazy. I know that pretending everything is okey will eventually catch up to me and I know that loving me must be one of those things, one of those hard, impossible things. I know it’s difficult to understand, hell, its difficult for me to explain but the truth is I’m afraid to let people stay a while. I’m afraid watching people go. I’m afraid of being ALONE. I’m afraid, and that’s how things begin to fall apart for me because I trying to be different. I’m trying to find someone when everyone you meet expects so much more. I just want to be myself and I want the person I’m with to love me for who I am.