[ENG] Stably unstable

I read Steppenwolf in my first years of college for my friend recommendation - you'll wanna live more or you wanna die, my friend in high school killed himself in the bathroom of the school - he said.
So after that of course, I was curious to read the book, I think after that I definitely started to live more, I mean being an only child it also gives you more independence than people with siblings.
So as you know to travel, go to concerts, theatre or eat alone it's not a problem with me... But thanks to quarantine I figure out that yeah I am not a stable person I have the need to move, to explore, to change, and yes commitment scary me.
Probably my friends will say duh we always knew that, well I guess I was who didn't want to admit but thanks for even with that keep around.
So yeah if you feel identify with this text I know it could be hard to admit but believe me, there are people out who won't care and still want to be around of you so keep stably unstable.