Community post
isolation
Dear Steemit,
Anxiety is so... isolating. I have explained it to so many people and not a single one has understood. Lots of people say they have it too, and then I see them work, socialize, live their lives just fine. Anxiety is a normal human emotion and I hate when people tell me they suffer just as I, when in reality they have a healthy amount of anxiety. Since my anxiety specifically is social, it's even worse when people say "I used to be shy too! But then I grew out of it." It really hurts. This isn't something I will ever grow out of. Not to say I won't overcome it, just that it's going to take a lot of effort.
When I open up to people about it, they pretend to understand. They say they support me, will try to help me, and they empathize with it. Then time passes and they tell me to grow up. Get over myself. Stop being a baby. It feels a lot like a betrayal and stings every time, even though I expect it. I can't turn to people for comfort anymore, I'll say I can social anxiety and can't do something if it arises, but otherwise I just want to be left alone. I will figure this out and overcome it by myself, since no one else can handle it.
I'm close to being homeless, to quitting and to just embracing how fucked up I am and not bother fixing it. Maybe they're right, that I'm just pathetic and all of this is my fault. Whatever.
Replies (7)
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Uhmm, maybe.
It’s who you are.
Maturity is accepting the fact that you are, as I sometimes consider myself, an introvert on steroids.
Anxiety is created by fear of ‘disclosure’…people ‘learning’ something that we’d rather them not know…but, they prolly already do…lol…
What are you ‘afraid’ others will learn about you…aka…what thought comes to mind that makes you anxious?
Don’t take it personal. Humans are a bit ‘narcissistic’ whether they admit to it or not; and sometimes, just so overwhelmed by their own life issues that they tire of helping others, which is why people pay for a professional to listen to them.
May I suggest yoga…deep breathing…conversations with God (your Higher Power) as a healthy starting point?
Quitting isn’t an option. Anxiety is an enemy attack. It’s real; but, has to be kicked to the curb via self-prescribed mantras.
One of my favorites is:
I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHICH GIVES ME STRENGTH. (Philippians 4:13).
The higher the anxiety, the more I remind myself of this truth.
Last word from the Holy Spirit:
Since you're comfy in your own zone...why not start talking to the camera and upload to a YouTube channel...maybe even live stream...
You will find you're not alone; and, be a lot more filled than talking to people who simply 'don't get it'.
Who knows, maybe you'll hit a million subs, as anxiety is one of the most common experiences people encounter.
It's keeping it in 'control' that's most important.
Btw, your post would be a great transcript for your first upload. I'd love to know how it goes.
Remember, nothing beats a failure except someone who tries.
Of course, be sure to setup your paypal.me account. Don't hesitate to share your current financial plight.
Prayers that things will get better for you.
Best regards.
Peace.
thank you for responding! <3 I've been doing yoga and meditation / breathing exercises, and I'm pretty christian. It does help some but I wish it helped more. I've thought about starting a youtube channel for awhile, but I guess that secret I don't want people knowing about is how I look. I have bad self image. I'm pretty scared to share that with the world. But something to work toward :)
Awwwww….kindred spirits, perhaps!
Yes, I know…We have to find what is most therapeutic…and, gradually challenge our comfort zones…i.e. sitting alone at lunch at an outdoor eatery when no one else is around…hahahaha…that’s a huge one….Of course, as most, the eyes would stay tethered to the Twitter scroll…lol….Now, the ultimate challenge would be deliberate eye contact with a stranger passing by…only to return to Twitter…lol…
…Prayerfully, you will grow so comfortable, you could embrace your authentic self without care of what anyone, particularly the most-opinionated people in your life thought…;+)
In fact, I encourage you to do such. Presenting yourself in the most authentic fashion is a good indicator of who your REAL friends are…the non-judgmental ones…Sometimes people resent you, or just plain mean-spirited, and squashing your creative side is their favorite tool…
Ahem...To think to do something good is of the Spirit; and the "for awhile" part means you’ve prolly left some money on the table…lol…
No worries…it will be therapeutic and not about the money….though appreciated I’m sure!...
Awwwww….You are awesomely and wonderfully created by GOD!!!!
Embrace this fact; and make it your mantra until you prove to the enemy that he has no power over what God calls beautiful!!!!!!!
Now that that’s been confirmed…Millions of successful YouTube videos are hands only…scenes only….screen logos ONLY…The people NEVER show their faces…Only their voice is heard. They get subs for their content, and for their reliably showing up at the same time every day…They build a community of friends…Many turn off the up and down votes…even hide their sub numbers…always deleting troll comments; even though I say leave
em up...shows the character of sideliners...Some will be 'people you know'...lol...attempting to derail even this!
Interestingly, in my spirit, I envisioned that your vlog would always be a black screen with “steemitdiaries.com” or something like that as the focal point. Of course, you’d have to create a webpage adding your steemit blogs on your site. Btw, I rarely WATCH conversational YT vids...I just keep the video in my ear when I'm writing....
I’m glad you chimed back in; because I wanted to encourage you to set the YouTube channel up, even if you don’t start uploading for a few more weeks. Keep your videos private until you tweak your style; BUT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO DO IS START…lol.
All successful YT’s will tell you that failure is not doing…So, let’s try that mantra:
Nothing beats a failure except someone who….TRIED!...Yes, by George I think you’ve got it.
Lol…If you were my client I would boldly tell you that this phrase has EXCUSE to not do written all over it!!!! Bwahahahaha!!!
ASSIGNMENT:
If you do nothing else, secure your YT channel. Steemit Diaries has a ring to it that someone just might grab….
Set up your paypal.me account to have active for the description box when you start vlogging.
Draft your intro vlog…explain a few of your insecurities and gain a connection to your audience…no pity party, just facts.
I can see your perpetual YT intro being…Dear Diary…Today….brief music…then you chiming in: Hey guys (standard YT fare)…Today was…blah blah blah…Keep them at a cool 10 minutes…but remember the longer the vid the more money…but it has to have substance…of course you know this! ;+)
If possible, find a closet (or as many…your car)….Turn on the camera…start talking….play it back….if it sounds good…upload it and keep it in private mode. Once you get 30 or so uploads…start your channel. The important thing is once you go public be CONSISTENT. Few things are more disappointing than watching a good vlog, only to learn that the person only uploads once every blue moon.
But, anyhoo, I’m glad you’re feeling better. The sooner you get the YouTube channel going, the sooner you might find debt is no longer your friend…;+)
Btw, @steemitdiaries the words I speak to you are mirrored back on to me and hopefully, others….There comes a time when doing beats 'thinking about doing'.
Best regards!
Peace.
I've been doing that! I go out for walks or to places like mcdonalds for coffee, so I don't have to talk to anyone but I'm also surrounded by people and get to push my comfort zone. Eye contact is something I avoid so I've been trying to do it with strangers, so once we break it I never have to see them again! It's a fun challenge.
I do have a problem with being my most authentic self. I feel trapped in this idea of what others think of me, and anytime I try to stray from it their comments put me back in my place. This is also something I've tried challenging myself with. I live with my family, and the other day I sang in the shower even though I've been too shy to since I was a kid. progress lol.
That could work, making videos without showing myself. But having to hide makes me feel like I don't deserve it or I'm being dishonest. And lol! yeah, I think working towards something used to be an excuse but recently I have been more self aware, and able to push myself without breaking (sometimes I go too far and it just sets me back) Recently I have written down goals I plan on working towards, so I'll add youtube channel to the list. Just make baby steps to get there. I'll start learning some basic video editing now to build confidence :)
I really appreciate you taking the time to respond, and the honestly lol, means a lot!
So glad you're feeling much better!
This post is now an archive; so, I've started a new post, as Steemit payouts are only 7 days and we'd lose the huge monetary benefit this platform offers. I know most don't deem a penny much; but, it's better than what FB and Tweetland offer.
Isolation Conversation Grows Into Week 2
Sorry for the lame title; but it's the best I could come up with...;+)
Let's direct all future comments/replies at the link above to keep voting payouts current. ;+)
Best regards.
Peace.
Thanks! I already have it; and use it everyday. It's a great tool for quick access; and, I thank God that I have free access to the Holy Bible on my devices.
Peace.