Blaming clothing is like blaming a reflection

"Hell is empty, and all the devils are here." - Shakespear, The Tempest (Act 1, Scene 2).

This single sentence says a lot, maybe everything about human nature. Wait! Human nature? How can I generalise this stuff?

So here is the reason: Ayat Noor. Oh the cruelty to call it a case, because this is what we humans do. Read about it, talk a bit about it, and then move on with another topic. The incident stays there as a case-file, and goodbye.

So Ayat Noor was five-years old. Yes, she is no more. Congratulations to heaven for having another angel for itself.

The story is: she got kidnapped on 10th of August. It took the nation 15 days to find her. Alas! She was found dead in a dry well. Skipping forward to our main concern. She was sexually assaulted before her death.I will never understand, how can a human being so cruel?

**Qayamat Khud Batai G; Qayamt Kuon Zaroori h. (**Judgment Day itself will tell us why Judgment Day is necessary.)

Believe me, if I open up with all "reported" cases from a month, you will be writing a sequel book. This is how rotten the society has become. Like I do not have words, just to explain what is even happening. And thank God, being a believer, there is a JUDGEMENT day.

By the way, Ayat Noor means "Verses of Light."

So there is not a discussion about what she was wearing, what were her intentions, where she was going, or at what time. It is merely a deception from our henious nature

Blame Games.

If there is one thing I have learnt from my experience, it is this blame game. Just blame everyone, not thyself. Whenever something terrible happens to a woman, we somehow know whose fault it is, and we all become fashion critics before becoming human beings. Rather than blaming the criminal; we start to investigate and torture the victim. And in order to hide behind something, we liked explanations that make the world feel controllable. So we always use this tactic to overcome our negligence.

Not all men, but always a men.

Being a man, I can say that more comfortably than the society allows to a woman. The point is straightforward, whenever an incident happens, of such nature, the prepetrator is almost always a man. And that uncomfortable pattern deserves an honest conversation rather than an automatic defense. Men, as a group, need to be honest about the behaviors, attitudes and instinct that some men refuse to control. In this manner, attraction is an instinct; but harassment is a choice. Just like anger can be an instinct; but violence is choice.

Patriarchal Society

Of course we are not BEES so, we all live in a patriarchal society. So every man of this society knows his rights, but when it comes to other gender he fails to do so. As an example, you will see people wearing only "Shalwar/Lacha (trouser stuff)" on streets, and society is all okay with it. So society is the one who sets the standard for these things. The things which are allowed to wear, and the things which are not allowed. And the deeper problem is not even the clothing. It is the mindset that makes one person's freedom feel ordinary while another person's freedom feels like a social disturbance.

Then come the children

This single arugments breaks all those who say it is the clothing. Children are victims too. Unfortunately, they become a prey to their family members, and there is no one to believe them. They do not understand adult attraction, nor do they dress themselves with some hidden intention. They are simply children. Still far from being safe.

And what about boys and men?

As I always say: we really need "menism." Because, what is this ideology "mard ban mard (be a man)." Because this gender is also a victim. There are reported cases, and let us not talk about those unheard one. Society makes it hard for a boy, a man to speak up, because this creature is supposed to be strong.

The clothes are on the body, but the intention is in the mind.

Clothing does affect perception. As they say: "first impression is the last impression." And clothing is part of this impression. On daily basis, we judge people by appearances all the time. Sometimes it is intentional; the other it is not. A suit may make someone look professional. A uniform may make someone look powerful. Traditional clothes may make someone appear more conservative. Our brains are constantly making these little calculations. Of course, we are trained and built this way.

But we need to understand that perception is not reality.

Two people can look at the same person, but their perceptions will be different. Two opposite genders can be wearing same clothes, but their acceptance will be different. The clothes remain the same. It is the minds that are different.

And this is where the real concern starts. An individual may notiice soomeone's body. And they may find them attractive. They may call it - love at first sight. By far, this is purely humanly instinct. But what happens next is where morality enters the picture. We are not mere machines. We interpret, process and make decisions.

This is where the idea of self-control appears. Alas! We do not believe in such stuff. Because, it is way easy to just say, "rules are meant to be broken." We really need to understand that wanting something does not mean having it ours.

So, for my final call, blaming clothing is almost like blaming a reflection for what we see in it.

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Peace 🕊️

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This is my entry for IndiaUnited Contest. Do checkout the rules before sharing your opinion.

Picture was taken by me using Infinix Note 50 Pro.