Community post
Empty [A 50 Word Vignette]
I hold tight to my husband as the nurse carries my baby away.
Eleven weeks pregnant, and now no more. My child’s soul has flown to heaven on angels wings.
Why couldn’t she stay here with me? I would’ve loved her so much. Now I’m left here, bleeding and empty.
Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://therosepatch.com/emtpy-a-50-word-vignette/
Replies (5)
This is a very moving piece. Sometimes a scene is so powerful you don't mind not having more story. This is one of those times.
wipes tear
Wow, Rose. This is so powerful. Heart-wrenching, gutting, but so powerful. You've captured the loss so well. I felt hollow with her.
Wow, Rose. How to make someone cry in 50 words. No words for this. It's absolutely fearless and I love it.
Hugs
This was a tough one to read, @therosepatch. It is heart-wrenching, and beautifully done.
A teacher told me once, "When you lose your parents you're an orphan. But what are you to be called when you’ve lost your child?" Your story goes straight to the heart, @therosepatch, not only because of the motif, but because of the way it is told: a concrete scene in the first paragraph makes us be there; the mother's decree in the second paragraph: perhaps the sweetest version of death, which makes us empathize; and finally, the bitter longing in the third and last paragraph, which comes from the guts is just the final blow.