Community post
She
She's pretty but strange/smooth
the skin/the veil/whittled down
to smile/to mask the tide/the fever/
the haze/to move inside the flesh
like something wrong/the wrong
dress/mind/ all unreason/But listen
to her speak/how frail/ how bird/
How smoke in the city is her voice
in the rich husk upon husk of drink/
of deep feeling/How wet her
ceaseless eyes in the gloom/
plucking with small hands/clean
nails/heavy hammer/the inorganic
grief/Doll face/how beautiful
and lost/terrible and bruised
📸: x-ray of a plant.
Replies (8)
I liked the cadence of the poem and there is some beautiful imagery however overall I found it confusing. I did read it twice but I found the contradictory images - well confusing, sorry about that. It's probably me.
I understand what you mean. What I did and do a lot of in my poetry is build on impressions. I don't apply logic but rather the impression I get from a word. So if I start a line with, for instance, The tree has fallen to its roots, i don't continue as others may do. Rather I look at say the word, root and build from there. So the next line could be, burial chamber, all soil and sleep. Then I could pick sleep and build on and so forth. I don't always follow this system religiously. I also let my intuition guide me.
Thanks for reading and the lovely comment.
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Thanks for coming back to me :). Ah impressionist poetry - I find it hard to write that way I must confess. For me having something to say is my raison d'etre. Beautiful imagery throughout. I have also adopted your style of using /
Oh nice. I do that in reaction to the traditional structure of punctuations. Experimenting is good. I do it a lot. Thanks for the follow.
Beautiful words, beautiful placement, beautiful intent. I have missed reading your poetry xxxx
And that image is fire, seeing into it, very fitting xx
Thank you for the kindness
Thank you my friend. Indeed the image is amazing. I discovered the work by chance and I have been entranced since. The frail nature of flowers revealed to the naked eye is just refreshing. I have been struck with black and white photographs since then.