MASTICATION VS MASTURBATION

Our dilemma involves the practice of chewing one’s meat versus beating it.

Lore has it that the infamous J.P.Getty chewed each bite of chicken 32 times before swallowing. Each night, after dinner, before counting his money, he would pull out his favourite pet chicken and proceed to choke it till it expired in his greedy hand. The amount of strokes required was one of the few unpredictables in J.P,’s world. The quicker he could choke his chicken, the more time left to count his money.

The image of Getty performing either of these tasks is enough to turn me into a vegetarian monk.

So who’s the winner here? Certainly not that poor chicken.
Certainly not J.P…. Can’t count your money when you’re dead you greedy fool!
Rot in Hell you miserable old bastard.
They say you can’t have your cake and eat it too...the same adage applies to poultry.

Tonight Ima have me a nice salad and let the bitch tend to the puppy.

Peace y’all