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Groovatti

@groovatti

Creative Writer

443 followers 425 following 200 posts Reputation 52.37

Groovatti
@groovatti Jul 24, 2020, 2:04 PM UTC

Cloudy with a Chance of Sh*t Coins

After spending a year or so researching cryptocurrencies, I've come up with a simple illustrative story to help newbies better understand these relatively new financial instruments. Don't worry, I've…

4 upvotes 9 replies $0.00
Groovatti
@groovatti Sep 18, 2019, 1:22 AM UTC

The Big Wow: A Psychonaut's Amazing DMT Journey

https://steemit.com/travel/@groovatti/the-big-wow-a-psychonaut-s-amazing-dmt-journey-comedyopenmic-round-27 ▶️ DTube ▶️ IPFS

5 upvotes 0 replies $0.02
Groovatti
@groovatti May 19, 2019, 10:09 AM UTC

How to light a fart on fire and not burn down the house or singe the pets

https://media.giphy.com/media/6S2k8NZuXyXqE/giphy-downsized-large.gif Are you one of those sick fucks who just let’s your farts come out willy-nilly? Don’t care who you gas as long as you get it out…

60 upvotes 3 replies $0.10
Groovatti
@groovatti Apr 12, 2019, 12:24 PM UTC

Fiery Hemorrhoid Remedy

https://cdn.steemitimages.com/DQmTJTo7hn9HSbzkHzkQBALMeN1KcnpjZp1fyJW2C6t19QA/fiery_hemorrhoid_remedy_groovatti.jpg Has your asspipe ever been in so much pain that you couldn’t stand or sit without w…

6 upvotes 2 replies $0.03
Groovatti
@groovatti Apr 1, 2019, 10:30 AM UTC

Facebook to buy IBM in massive stock swap valued at over $100 Billion USD (Spoof)

Source Menlo Park, CALIFORNIA (April 1st, 2019): Facebook, the undisputed social media king, today announced that it plans to buy IBM, a global technology powerhouse, for a stock swop estimated to be…

14 upvotes 1 downvotes 3 replies $0.04
Groovatti
@groovatti Aug 19, 2018, 9:41 AM UTC

The Big Wow: A Psychonaut’s Amazing DMT Journey (ComedyOpenMic Round 27)

https://media.giphy.com/media/l4pT43ubDEdC8HZyE/giphy.gif Source >That trip was insanely wowwer than wow, it was the Big Wow! And I mean BIG! Mind-blowingly BIG! >My body sang with celestial wo…

690 upvotes 32 replies $9.34
Groovatti
@groovatti Jul 31, 2018, 11:49 AM UTC

Hey is NOT for Horses (ComedyOpenMic Round 24 Entry)

Source Have you ever been called a jackass for using the word "hey"? “Hay is for horses,” they say. Then they get mean and ornery and say, "Aren't you glad you're a jackass!" That's not nice. Who are…

25 upvotes 20 replies $0.48
Groovatti
@groovatti Jul 16, 2018, 4:39 PM UTC

Sperm Banks and Vasectomies (@ComedyOpenMic Round 22 Entry)

Source Sperm banks and vasectomies are two things that I typically avoid talking about: Simply because I never want to have the latter and the former seems creepy to me. So it was surprising when my…

234 upvotes 1 downvotes 31 replies $3.24
Groovatti
@groovatti Jun 26, 2018, 5:13 PM UTC

The Squeaky Wheel (ComedyOpenMic Contest Round 19 Entry)

Source Hey, have you heard this: The squeaky wheel gets all the grease? Ain’t that the god’s honest truth! The squeaky wheel gets all the attention, don’t it! Let me tell you, this rubber head that I…

26 upvotes 11 replies $0.34
Groovatti
@groovatti Jun 12, 2018, 11:33 AM UTC

UFO No-Go (ComedyOpenMic Contest Round 17 Entry)

Source >“I brought this pistol because you never know about these aliens: You don’t know if they want to fuck you, fight you or fillet you!” “We interrupt this regularly scheduled broadcast for a…

117 upvotes 7 replies $1.63