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I.L.T. Yodith

@ilt-yodith

Constantly Collapsing Wavefunction

623 followers 174 following 590 posts Reputation 55.28

I.L.T. Yodith
@ilt-yodith Apr 27, 2022, 8:11 PM UTC

Peter McPoland - Predicting His Fame Before He Has a Wikipedia Page

I am memorializing my unequaled music prediction abilities here: Peter McPoland is going to be a gigantic superstar and all the kids are going to love this dude. https://images.genius.com/ca0802da486…

0 upvotes 0 replies $0.00
I.L.T. Yodith
@ilt-yodith Jan 13, 2021, 11:32 PM UTC

What Does Your Sky Look Like?

The world seems insane right now, doesn't it? This dumb little barely-living creature is killing everyone and another big dumb barely-thinking creature is in charge of the world's largest nuclear sto…

1 upvotes 1 replies $0.00
I.L.T. Yodith
@ilt-yodith Jan 30, 2019, 11:09 PM UTC

The Life Raft: Saving the Sad Redpill Lunatics of the Manosphere - Preface

Sex controls the world. That's not even a controversial opinion. It's been known since the first Cro-Magnon man decided to go out and do something insane in the hopes of impressing a cute little Nean…

15 upvotes 2 replies $0.24
I.L.T. Yodith
@ilt-yodith Nov 24, 2018, 5:24 PM UTC

Why Are the People Running Things Such Goofy Bastards?

I have the answer. It’s pretty simple really. Because normal people don’t want to deal with the giant sack of cow-shit that is “politics” and “public relations.” Let’s better define our terms: People…

32 upvotes 2 replies $0.79
I.L.T. Yodith
@ilt-yodith Oct 2, 2018, 7:12 PM UTC

Trying to Watch the Naked Kate Winslet Scene in Titanic While Your Angry Wife Complains about Her Rough Day Buying a Shirt - Comedy Open Mic Round #32

Ok. She did that thing with her voice where it goes up. That "bet you won't believe the way this story about shirts turns out" tone. That means she's almost done. Maybe like, two, or at most three mo…

665 upvotes 19 replies $12.54
I.L.T. Yodith
@ilt-yodith Sep 26, 2018, 4:22 PM UTC

SteemSteem: Earn Ten Gajillion Moneys With CryptoForkChainBlockBitBot - A Very Actually Serious Entry For Comedy Open Mic Round #32

Every person here on Steem wants to have many a lot Steemits! If you have fewer Steemits and want more Steemits, SteemSteem maybe is definitely the best and good decision for everyone unless you are…

10 upvotes 6 replies $0.29
I.L.T. Yodith
@ilt-yodith Sep 5, 2018, 5:35 PM UTC

I Don't Wear Hats But if I Did Wear Hats and You Were a Hat I Would Still Kick You in the Stomach - Comedy Open Mic Round 29

I wish the guy who invented hats had perished as a child in The Great Plague, or the Cretaceous-Paleogene Extinction Event, or the big flood thing where the guy in the giant boat with the animal twin…

39 upvotes 6 replies $0.49
I.L.T. Yodith
@ilt-yodith Aug 30, 2018, 8:45 PM UTC

Censored

My aunt saw this and thought it was seditious, so the village censor made me remove it. Feel free to remove your upvote as well. I apologize for any inconvenience.

24 upvotes 6 replies $0.40
I.L.T. Yodith
@ilt-yodith Aug 28, 2018, 6:03 PM UTC

Your Mom is So Hot That I’m Gonna Have Her Screaming When I Give Her the Positive Results From the Clinical Trial of The Body Temperature Regulation Drug I’ve Discovered

Your mom always leaves my office all sweaty and out of breath, because she is part of a group of volunteers taking part in our FDA mandated experimentation which requires daily incremental pulse rate…

28 upvotes 8 replies $1.08
I.L.T. Yodith
@ilt-yodith Aug 28, 2018, 1:21 PM UTC

Rice Goes on the Inside of a Sushi Roll You Deranged Lunatic - Comedy Open Mic Round 28

What is this? No, seriously what the hell is this? A Sushi roll? For real? That’s what you’re going with? You’re gonna really try to justify that? Wow. Umm, yes, there certainly is a problem. See, I…

42 upvotes 13 replies $0.46