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therealpaul

@therealpaul

An Astonished Earthling's Almanac

2,281 followers 550 following 6,568 posts Reputation 69.41

therealpaul
@therealpaul Jan 25, 2023, 6:47 PM UTC

From the Family of Our Beloved Friend and Sister, Dreemit

This morning, the Dreemit family has asked me to let everyone here know, that Linnet has passed from this realm. For now, I would just like to say that she will be missed dearly. Linnet was always so…

43 upvotes 23 replies $0.00
therealpaul
@therealpaul Oct 10, 2021, 12:54 AM UTC

Adding 'More Evil' By Killing Everyone Doesn't Necessarily Make a Story Good, Writer Discovers

This whole town is my creation, I'll destroy it any way I please. I simply wasn't evil enough, that was my whole problem. I had tried to write a story based on real life; a tale about Hill Valley; an…

425 upvotes 24 replies $13.29
therealpaul
@therealpaul Jun 4, 2020, 7:44 PM UTC

First, They Ignore You- Voluntary Society Wakes to a New Day Amid Turmoil

Today, a group of Anarchists-- apparently believing that no human should be ruled by anyone else, and that no individual being should be a slave-- deliberately and willfully did NO harm to anyone thr…

118 upvotes 5 replies $1.34
therealpaul
@therealpaul May 28, 2020, 12:29 AM UTC

What We Call Democracy is Really Just Institutionalized Sorcery

Just because Mickey used a little bit of sorcery to try to get a bunch of brooms to do his work for him, this doesn't automatically mean that Mickey was an evil mouse-- he was just lazy. He was just…

98 upvotes 7 replies $2.22
therealpaul
@therealpaul May 14, 2020, 4:09 AM UTC

Sorting Out the Social Rules of Engagement in a Pre-scribed Bio-War, and Forming Alliances with Mushrooms

#### What about those masks? "People don't need to be going around wearing masks!" Dr. Fauci laughed, and he explained to the 60 Minutes host exactly why that was so. Indeed, the individuals within t…

49 upvotes 8 replies $7.02
therealpaul
@therealpaul Apr 30, 2020, 7:26 PM UTC

The Machiavellian Gardener: Managing Neighborhood Noise Pollution, and First Garden Pest of the Year

- Monday: It started about lunchtime, the hammering and the sawing. The house next door to mine got a new tenant this month, and the landlord wanted to finish up a few things on the exterior. It's hi…

76 upvotes 10 replies $5.29
therealpaul
@therealpaul Apr 20, 2020, 3:32 AM UTC

I Won't Be Running For President This Year- Trump Stole My Idea

Donald Trump stole my idea. While he's been doing a really terrific job with it-- really great job-- this whole 'show everyone that the government is useless' spectacle was originally my idea. In ord…

57 upvotes 8 replies $16.23
therealpaul
@therealpaul Apr 14, 2020, 6:29 AM UTC

Never Mind Politics: Heroes Needed to Plant the Seeds of a Fractal Garden- Start Immediately- Inquire Within

### 1 -FOOD Forget the 2020 National election show. I'm trying to be as nice as I can be, but people really need to shut the hell up about their presidents and their beloved circus of clowns in polit…

73 upvotes 5 replies $2.31
therealpaul
@therealpaul Apr 8, 2020, 3:58 AM UTC

The Machiavellian Gardener: New Addition to the Garden, A Big Shiny 5G Tower For Better Growth

I told all of the Garden vegetables that the new 5G tower that I'd so quickly installed would make their work easier, and they blindly accepted it. Meanwhile, I planted a nice little conspiracy theor…

72 upvotes 13 replies $3.59
therealpaul
@therealpaul Apr 4, 2020, 2:17 AM UTC

I Think The Dramatic Fiction Story that I Never Wrote Just Came True

##### I was going to write a story about a cooperative little community, or maybe a planet, that uses friendship as a currency. It would have been about a world where everyone rewards each other for…

65 upvotes 12 replies $2.90