johnthefelon

Your First Bookstore Reading - Comedy Open Mic Round 29

Your First Bookstore Reading It took you four years to cobble together enough half-hour time intervals to complete a two hundred fifty page novel. You painstakingly crafted such an intricate plot tha…

American Zeroes - Chapter 7

Previous chapters: Chapter One: Georgie Chapter Two: Guns, Blurbs, and Steal Chapter Three: Big Jugs and the Hairy Arm Chapter Four: Sophia, the Pain in My Chest, Part 1 Chapter Five: Dead Man Under…

ANXIETY (original song) - Comedy Open Mic Round 28

This is an original song called Anxiety which is part of a musical I'm writing called Massterpiece (the extra "s" is for salvation). Synopsis Each year, the small community theater of Reeseville, Pen…

THE GORILLA SERIES - Comedy Open Mic Round 28

THE GORILLA SERIES PART 1: LATE FOR WORK Characters JACK GORILLA 1 GORILLA 2 COWORKER 1 (CW1) COWORKER 2 (CW2) > (Morning. Jack gets ready for work. The doorbell rings. He walks to the door, opens…

Pudding, Anyone? - ComedyOpenMic Round 26

This is a true story. Where I used to live, there were two sets of neighbors who jointly threw a big Labor Day party each year. One year, there were more people than usual. It was around dusk, and we…

Funny Story About Panties

About a month ago, my girlfriend pulled panties out of my drawer, held them up, and asked, "Whose are these?" There is an innate response mechanism for this situation and it causes a man, guilty or i…

He's Dead, Jim

Irreversible

Irreversible I've lived in fear Of the irreversible The actions that can't be undone The mixing of things Like blood, like lives The nature of things Like when air expands And cannot be stuffed In th…

The Lazy Man Special - Salmon

I really didn't want to cook tonight, but I wanted to eat salmon. So, I did what I usually do and went to the grocery store to buy one item. I bought one half-pound salmon filet. Lovely. When I arriv…

American Zeroes - Chapter 6 Part 2

Previous chapters: Chapter One: Georgie Chapter Two: Guns, Blurbs, and Steal Chapter Three: Big Jugs and the Hairy Arm Chapter Four: Sophia, the Pain in My Chest, Part 1 Chapter Five: Dead Man Under…