Hive profile

meesterboom

@meesterboom

Member of the Hive Cabal since 2014

11,192 followers 366 following 82,973 posts Reputation 80.98

meesterboom
@meesterboom Dec 25, 2025, 11:12 AM UTC

Merry Fonking Xmas!!

As I surveyed the devastation of wrapping paper and plastic stuff that littered our living room floor I let out a contented sigh. In front of me was my little pile of presents. No Gibson guitar. No e…

395 upvotes 3 downvotes 100 replies $16.58
meesterboom
@meesterboom Nov 25, 2025, 9:35 AM UTC

Lamb of God

Yo Boomy. Is this seat taken? El-Jefe squealed horribly like a fat Mexican jamming himself into a portable toilet. I looked up from my book and sighed. Could a man not even lunch in peace anymore? I…

476 upvotes 2 downvotes 116 replies $24.00
meesterboom
@meesterboom Oct 3, 2025, 9:55 AM UTC

On Fire

I pulled up at some traffic lights. Funk music was blaring from my car as if I were a seventies pimp on my way to collect my money from an assortment of spandex-clad ho's. https://youtu.be/HIjdlLSOtv…

478 upvotes 80 replies $30.78
meesterboom
@meesterboom Sep 21, 2025, 10:24 AM UTC

Gatos De Muerte

It is said that no one who faces the Cats of Death returns alive. I muttered grimly, throwing my vape to the ground and stamping it out. Must you go Daddy? We don't want to lose you? The kids cluster…

320 upvotes 120 replies $17.34
meesterboom
@meesterboom Aug 16, 2025, 10:06 AM UTC

Take A Brake

So, what do you think? The Salesman at the garage patted the bonnet of the shiny blue car beside him as if it were a faithful dog and he was hoping that I would pay him to let it inseminate me. He ha…

435 upvotes 84 replies $27.89
meesterboom
@meesterboom Jul 13, 2025, 8:20 AM UTC

Gimme That Boom

It was time. The family sojourn up the cold and bitter north of Scotland. We tried to do it every year to toughen the kids up. There is nothing like getting forced to swim in the frigid waters of the…

528 upvotes 125 replies $44.27
meesterboom
@meesterboom Jun 12, 2025, 8:44 AM UTC

For The Checkbox!

Here he is! The wounded hero. Back from the dead! El'-Jefe leered at me as if I was a crispy honey-glazed pork shoulder joint. Aye aye, whatevs boss man. I sat down across from him and his enforcer B…

506 upvotes 1 downvotes 159 replies $31.59
meesterboom
@meesterboom May 15, 2025, 7:19 AM UTC

Sixty

Please, take a seat. What can I do for you today? The Doctor waved me to a chair in his office. I eyed him suspiciously. He looked like a child's drawing of a man and I make a note of never trusting…

479 upvotes 117 replies $38.09
meesterboom
@meesterboom May 4, 2025, 9:48 AM UTC

Funny Money

Daddy, how much have I got in my bank account? The Little Lady was crouched over her phone screen no doubt staring at something on it which was screaming BUY ME! Uh, hang on. I logged into her bank a…

552 upvotes 158 replies $36.74
meesterboom
@meesterboom Mar 27, 2025, 9:22 AM UTC

A Distrustful Horse

Mr Boom? An odd looking nurse had popped her head around a door and was looking around the waiting room like a bewildered owl. Here. I raised a hand and tried not to cry myself a river of self-pity.…

500 upvotes 104 replies $32.42